Sunday, October 23, 2011

Philippines: How Would I React to "No"?

Almost exactly a year ago, I posted a series of notes (part 1, part 2, part 3) that addressed the importance of Christians obeying the government. Interestingly enough, a similar topic has now come back in my life a year later, but in a work context.

If you have followed this blog for a while, you would have seen a lot of posts tagged "Philippines", including this one. One of my pastor's friends from a church where he served previously in the Philippines spent one of his semester breaks from law school in the US and made a special trip to our church to help out with our young adults' camp for several days. During the camp and afterward, he ministered to me and others in my church and sought to be as much of a blessing as possible during his short time with us. He is now back in law school, rarely having the time or opportunity for fellowship with other believers, and could use encouragement from any of his friends in the Philippines or the US.

Now I am attempting to go to the Philippines to see him and to visit one of the children who I sponsor. This would be my first trip traveling outside the US, and because others that I know who may have been able to go with me cannot go, I would be taking the trip alone. I would go mainly for a vacation (I need one badly), but I would also want to minister to others and serve the Lord while I am there. Because of family obligations, I would need to spend Christmas on a separate trip within the US and fly to the Philippines from there. The trip itself would last for the rest of his break from law school, and then I would come back and try to return to work within the next several days.

Last week, I saw some very encouraging developments that made taking this trip more possible. My friend emerged from his busy semester in law school (the Philippines has a different school year) with a successful finals week and was able to get back in touch. Several days later, my family gave their support of the trip. This was astonishing. They had been supportive of it when I had a young lady to go see, but since I no longer do, they often asked, "You're going around the world to see a guy?" They are used to young women driving my motives for just about everything. Although I do not try to do that anymore, my sense of humor, which at times relies heavily on self-parody, still reinforces that perception of me, especially with those who have known me the longest.

On Thursday, I mentioned the trip to my boss. Although I mentioned a trip to the Philippines even before I joined the company, at the time it was still a trip on which I expected to become engaged. Yet I continued to save my leave for a trip to the Philippines throughout this year without knowing much as to why, just sensing the need to do it for reasons larger than glorifying myself - and the possibility, however unlikely, that I could go this year. Although I like my job for the most part, I allowed myself to become very burnt out in it, especially during the late summer and early fall, taking as little time off as possible to continue saving leave for this trip.

Independently of my boss's reaction, an answer to prayer happened that day from an unexpected source. Earlier in the week, I had prayed on the way to work that I would bear more of the fruit of the Spirit. Often, my joy becomes very tied to my spiritual performance and to my performance at work. I expect little from others, just that they will do their job and make a good effort, but I am often a ruthless perfectionist in regards to myself. With nothing to look forward to in life for most of this year, I have become very upset when I have not performed well at work and allowed my life and testimony to go into a tailspin as others in my office see how I react to that. I started to buy the notion that no one in this office wants my Jesus because He makes my life more difficult and makes me depressed and occasionally unapproachable. Christ was not causing those bouts of depression during each workweek. I was. Even the renewed possibility of this trip made me much more at peace than usual, and I was able to work pretty well on Thursday and Friday despite being sick.

My boss, who likes to kid around, initially said no when I asked to request the time off. Then I told him that I wanted to go to the Philippines for a couple weeks and he was fine with it. And I thought, "This has to be God's will." My boss likes to mock Christians once in a while even though he has several working for him. I went to HR the following day to check on my leave balances before I put in the paperwork. I gave her more background on my trip, and her reaction was very positive. Having a clearer understanding of the dates, I submitted my time off request.

Most of the trip would be after the New Year due to schedule constraints. The catch is my company's leave policy. The policy limits how much leave I can carry into the new year. With that constraint, my trip would require more leave than that. They made an exception for my team last year so that we could make a deadline, but this year they will not be doing that. Most likely, I would have to go negative with my leave or work extended hours on about half a day's jet lag for the rest of my first week back. The company tries to not advance leave to anyone. The company's top-level executives will have a meeting tomorrow, at which they will discuss whether to let me take my trip. I would appreciate your prayers for that meeting.

I don't want just thinking about this trip to be the most rewarding experience of my life so far. I want to actually take this trip, minister to my friend and sponsored child in person, and see more of what God is doing in the nations - to sing with the stars and the whales, "How great" - how merciful - how just - how faithful - how wise - how powerful - how present - how gracious - how loving - how satisfying - how holy, holy, holy - "is our God" - my Creator - my Savior - my Rock and my Redeemer, in Whom I trust. He is the Lord over all, from the rotating and colliding galaxies to the subatomic particles that praise their Designer out of the sight of human eyes, and also my Lord, who will allow me to go where He would have me go to give Him glory. May I be a faithful servant, qualified to do His will.

So, what does this have to do with earthly authority? God is teaching me something by leaving me hanging during this weekend. He is giving me a greater sense of dependence on Him and allowing me to work closer to Him than usual. My reaction to the outcome of that meeting, whatever it is, is also a tool for me to make much of Christ. And part of the fruit of the Spirit is kind words - showing grace to my employer and not reacting harshly if they tell me no.

My boss and I stayed late at work on Friday and were talking about the trip and the executive meeting after we finished working. My conclusion there was, "We'll see what happens, and I just need to respect their decision." The executives have worked hard to keep our company in business and profitable, and they deserve the titles that they have. If they say no, I am convinced that the most professional way - and the best witness as a Christian - is not for me to tell them, "To heck with you, I'll just get another job and start there in January", and attempt to still take the trip. It is to stay in my current position and continue to serve my employer humbly and as intelligently as I know how.

I don't say this dogmatically for everyone, but just as how I am convinced to act in my own life based on wisdom. God does not really have a will of direction, only wills of decree and desire. He gives us wisdom so that we can make intelligent decisions that please Him without waiting for visions, fleeces, or writing in the sky. And He has a reason why He got me out of the work that I had been doing (at companies that gave me more leave, where it looked like it would have been more possible for me to take this trip), to make much of Him in this specific job. He has given it to me as a means to become better at my craft and support my local church financially while saving to buy a house. And, having been on the other side of (un)employment too, I praise Him for providing for me in this position. It appears He is giving me more than my daily bread now in part so that if He ever allows me to lead my own family, we can creatively live off of one income and, hopefully, practice wartime living.

I grew up as a young punk with a disdain for authority, and in some ways my ideas still jar with the establishment. As a minarchist idealistically, I'll probably never vote willingly for a Republicrat. In business, I shy away from buzzwords as much as possible and just focus on getting my job done. But it is still possible for somebody like me, as likely to listen to Celtic rock and old-school punk as gospel rap, to submit to authority genuinely without kissing up. And God is glorified in that. This is a way to be "faithful over a few things" (Matthew 25:23).

So, to end today's post, I quote these lines from 116 Clique's song "Authority", not at my company, but to myself:

"You ask them, what's a man?
They say, that dude that's got them stacks on stacks [of money]
in rubber bands, finger to the government.
'I want it; I get it; it's mine.
Can't tell me nothing, bro.
My money, my girl, and my nine:
These [are] my rules. What [are] you talkin' 'bout?'
No one man should have all that power.
He doesn't have it 'cause power is not ours!
Sinning like you're in control - no, you are owned.
God is running it. Do as you're told.
Ok, let me talk to him real quick:
Somebody being over me? We say, 'No, no!'
But we gotta get that if we are not submitting,
Then we're missing the fact that we are not our own.
Only God can judge me. And the Judge says,
'If you do not follow, then you can't lead.'
Get it? Live it. Got it? Good.

"If you can't follow, you can't ever lead.
And you don't run a thing 'til you run into the King.
Hey, Who I follow's who they follow when they follow me.
A real man bows down to authority!"

(I encourage comments, but please be sensitive to preserve my anonymity by not mentioning anything that would identify me or my employer.)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Shakespearean Sonnet: Get Wisdom.

Pay any price, that wisdom you attain
And go great lengths to bend your ear to hear
The cry of wisdom, calling o'er terrain
Nearby and far, to warn from future tears.

Prize understanding, wisdom's confidant
For knowledge works with prudence, hand in hand;
Defend yourself from growing nonchalant
Or callous to the Scripture's reprimand.

Embrace discernment; honor comes with grace,
A garland given you with beauty's crown;
Find satisfaction when you can retrace
Your days and know she did not let you down!

Heed caution's tales, replete from foolish choice
Of rebels, shunning cries of Wisdom's voice!

-----

The text for this sonnet is Proverbs 4:1-12, copied below from the New American Standard Bible:

1 Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father,
And give attention that you may gain understanding,

2 For I give you sound teaching;
Do not abandon my instruction.

3 When I was a son to my father,
Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother,

4 Then he taught me and said to me,
“Let your heart hold fast my words;
Keep my commandments and live;

5 Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding!
Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.

6 “Do not forsake her, and she will guard you;
Love her, and she will watch over you.

7 “The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom;
And with all your acquiring, get understanding.

8 “Prize her, and she will exalt you;
She will honor you if you embrace her.

9 “She will place on your head a garland of grace;
She will present you with a crown of beauty.”

10 Hear, my son, and accept my sayings
And the years of your life will be many.

11 I have directed you in the way of wisdom;
I have led you in upright paths.

12 When you walk, your steps will not be impeded;
And if you run, you will not stumble.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Reflections on a Difficult NHL and KHL Offseason

2011 was possibly the most awkward and sad offseason in recent history for hockey. As the offseason neared its end and players took to the ice for their season openers during the past several days, I entered the new season with excitement but with a sobering thought I had never had in 16 years of following hockey: "At least no one else in hockey will die during the offseason this year."

"On May 13, 2011, [Derek] Boogaard was found dead in his Minneapolis apartment by family members. He was found unconscious and not breathing. Minneapolis Fire Department members were the first to arrive, and they pronounced him dead. He was a month and ten days short of his 29th birthday. ... An autopsy was performed, the results of which led a Minnesota medical examiner to conclude that Boogaard's death was accidental, albeit due to the lethal mixing of alcohol and oxycodone."

"A family member found [Rick] Rypien dead in his Crowsnest Pass, Alberta, home August 15, 2011. The cause of death was later confirmed as suicide. It is noted that he was battling depression for more than ten years."

"At approximately 1:33 p.m. on August 31, 2011, [Wade] Belak was found dead in a condo at the One King Street West hotel in Toronto. Police have not confirmed a cause of death, but Toronto Police treated it as a suicide. He was 35 years old, and had been preparing to take part in the upcoming season of Battle of the Blades. His death was the third in a string of NHL players found dead in a four-month span, following Derek Boogaard and Rick Rypien. His mother stated that he had been suffering from depression."

As a fan of fighting in hockey (and I don't want to start a debate over that here), I would go home from work and play hockey video games where I would fight against these three men and dozens of others like them. But video games miss the humanity of these men. Even the most diligent, most meticulous creators of video games can recreate humans at a mere photographic or cinematic level at best. Characters in video games do not go home to their families and friends and personally affect their lives. Characters in video games do not have to answer in a real-life court of law for their actions on or off the field. Their off-field struggles are, at best, a storyline to make the games more interesting.

In case the hockey world had not already experienced enough sadness for a decade during one offseason, one week after Belak's death, we heard about the horrific loss of, initially, 36 passengers and 7 of 8 crew members aboard a Yak-Service Yakovlev Yak-42 aircraft, which was carrying Lokomotiv Yaroslavl of the Kontinental Hockey League to Minsk, Belarus, to begin their 2011-12 season. Alexander Galimov remained conscious for several hours after the impact but was ultimately induced into a coma and died in hospital five days after the crash. The crash claimed the life of a Stanley Cup champion, Josef Vasicek. Vasicek, Karel Rachunek, Jan Marek, and Stefan Liv had also each won a gold medal at the World Championships. Liv had won an Olympic gold medal with Sweden in 2010. Karlis Skrastins held the NHL record for the most consecutive games by a defenseman. Pavol Demitra had gone to the KHL after a long and successful NHL career that saw him score 304 goals, appear in three All-Star games, and win the Lady Byng trophy as the league's most gentlemanly player. These losses, and the others, were huge losses for a great sport. Their impact will be felt during the years to come, not only for their families and others within one or two degrees of separation, but for entire teams and fanbases, everywhere that hockey is played or followed.

Every player and coach on the team died except for Maxim Zyuzyakin, a 20-year-old forward who head coach Brad McCrimmon asked to stay in Yaroslavl to rest and meet with them for their next game, and goaltending coach Jorma Valtonen, who was asked to stay in Yaroslavl to work with the junior team. The decisions to keep Zyuzyakin and Valtonen in Yaroslavl meant that their head coach saved their lives while the rest of their team boarded a plane to Minsk expecting to play their next game, but did not arrive in Minsk to play it. On the flip side, another 20-year-old player, defenseman Yuri Urychev, could not play the game in Minsk because he was injured and suspended, but he made the trip with his team anyway. Dedication to his team cost him his life.

A question many Americans tend to ask in response to a tragedy - most commonly, 10 years ago in response to the terrorist attacks in New York and DC - is "Where was God in this?" I do not know if Europeans would ask the same or a similar question. Americans ask it because, historically, we have had a nominally religious country, where faith in God is still a very influential factor in political candidacies and God takes the blame for a lot of tragic events, but we can take a look around us to demonstrate that this country is largely not Christian. A missionary friend on deputation to go to Europe told me that Europe has largely moved away from its formalistic religious traditions and become largely secular. Indeed, I have searched for and not seen any religiously-influenced responses to the tragedies of this past several months in hockey. Despite being neither a journalist nor a pastor, I might be the first.

Few players in professional hockey publicly promote any kind of religion. When Nazem Kadri practices his Muslim faith or his teammate James Reimer speaks out as a Christian, the hockey world sees that as unusual. I would venture to guess that hockey is probably the least religious, least spiritual of all major sports. In MLB, the NBA, and the NFL, expressing faith is more common. Thus it is fitting for the hockey world to have a largely aspiritual response to the deaths that occurred over this past offseason.

The tributes throughout the hockey world to their fallen teammates have been touching. Yaroslavl held a large mass funeral at their arena for their team's players and another one after Alexander Galimov died several days after the crash. Several NHL teams added memorials to their uniforms for their former players who had died in Yaroslavl. Several goaltenders have ordered new masks to pay tribute to their former teammates. The KHL delayed the start of its season by a week, and each of the seven games that took place on the new opening day began with a minute of silence.

True reflection on life takes more than a minute. The hockey world found these tragedies difficult but was able to resume cheering on the teams and players that remained. A hockey player does not skate around an artificial frozen pond, 200 feet long, solely for the purpose of making people cheer him on. He does not spend all 24 hours of each day skating in a vast cage bounded by ice, boards, Plexiglas, and the scoreboard and ceiling above him. After the game ends, the arena goes silent. The player must resume his life between the games. And so must you, as a fan. He, and you, have others in your lives to care for; a mind for thinking, planning, and reflecting; a heart for conveying a vast range of human emotions; and, most importantly and perhaps most overlooked of all, a soul.

Your purpose in life, regardless of your occupation or your beliefs, is to bring glory to God. That is the reason why you are here. There is a God who made and sovereignly controls this entire universe and everyone in it. As He made each facet of creation, He proclaimed that it was good and took joy in what He made. He watches and actively works as the galaxies, stars, planets, moons, oceans, plants, animals, cells, molecules, atoms, and subatomic particles work out His purpose. It all gives Him glory as He watches it on both the macro and micro scale. Humans are the only creatures with the capacity to hear what He has commanded them to do and refuse to do it. This is sin. It can be intentional or unintentional. You can commit sin without knowing what sin is.

Our cultures often give undue stress to certain kinds of hot-button sins, but God looks on the heart and the heart of every man, woman, and child is by nature sinful. If you wanted to stop evil, where would you stop it? It would be great to stop all killing, rape, human trafficking, assault, and theft in the world. Almost everyone considers those acts to be evil and does not like them. But what about lying - even white lies? What about slandering others, gossiping, insulting, or failing to respect others? What about thoughts of hatred, bitterness, envy, or wanting revenge against someone else? Do you think you have kept all ten commandments from the Torah: do not have any other gods before God, do not make carved images and worship them, do not take God's name in vain, honor your parents, do not kill, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not lie, and do not covet? Jesus said that if you hate someone, that is tantamount to murder; and if you lust after someone in your mind, that is as sinful as adultery. These are all sins against a God Who has never sinned and Who cannot tolerate any kind of sin in His presence. These are all ways around giving Him glory that we devise as we live for ourselves or for others instead of for Him. He has to do something about it.

If people lived forever, we could take a gander at how much knowledge they could achieve and what they could contribute to society as they each studied one or multiple fields for hundreds or thousands of years on end. But people would also develop an infinite capacity to do evil. Even people that desire to do their society as much good as possible have evil in their hearts, and there is a punishment for any kind of evil: death. Death is actually, in a sense, an act of mercy because if someone dies young, they have sinned less than someone who lives a long life. And by nature, we are also all deserving of hell, where we will successfully give God glory by being tormented for all eternity as He punishes us forever for all of our sins.

Many people downplay the reality of hell or think it is too harsh - "cruel and unusual punishment" for someone who is basically good. But consider the authority of the God Who you sin against. If you tell a lie to someone else in your family, they may be mad at you, but you still usually get away with it, in terms of going on with life as usual. If you tell a lie under oath in a court of law and the judge is just, he will punish you, probably send you to prison for a felony and take away many of your rights. That is only a judge. If you betray a friend, you will probably lose that friend. If you betray your country, you will, in many cases, lose your life because of treason. God is a Judge with a standard of absolute perfection and the only sovereign King of Kings. Every nation on the earth is a drop in the bucket to Him because He has absolute authority and sovereignty in all of the universe. Sin against a God with limitless power and authority, Who is alone worthy of absolute respect and worship from everyone in the world, deserves infinite punishment.

Death can free you from the power of sin in this life, but in His mercy, God has provided a means to be free from the eternal penalty of sin! You and I deserve to die for our sins against Him. So if anyone died for us, it would have to be another man, to adequately atone for our sins. Yet, if that man was also sinful like you and me, he would have our problem too; he could only die for his own sins and not escape the eternal penalty of them. The Man who died for us had to be perfect like God in order to satisfy the wrath of God. So God, in His plan of redemption, sent His Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to live the perfect life that we could not live and die the perfect death that we could not die. And because Jesus was not sinful, He did not remain dead, but rose again on the third day. The resurrection proved that He was without sin!

You know that you can be saved if this news has an effect on you. If it causes you to hate your sin, you have at least the beginnings of repentance over your sin - a change of mind that says you will not live for sin and self anymore, but live for Christ instead and make war with the sin that remains in your life. Aside from this, you need only to believe wholeheartedly that Christ can save you through His finished work on the cross. There are no magic words, good deeds, religious rituals, participation in ministry, or even preaching the gospel faithfully to others that can save you. Salvation is only by the grace of God through faith in Jesus Christ alone. And He can save you - and you need Him to save you - regardless of how much evil you have done. Please repent of your sins, even of your righteousness if that righteousness is only in yourself.

Christians still have indwelling sin in their lives, and they still die every day. However, they do not face the same judgment from God as unbelievers do. God will see unbelievers as their Judge, looking at all of their misdeeds and sentencing them to eternal punishment in hell. He will look at Christians as their Father, reward them for what they have done in their lives for Him, and usher them in to an eternity of joy with Him in heaven. There are many fake Christians in the world. The true Christians are those who see that they have been forgiven and, in response to that, do what He commands and live a changed life that proves their changed heart.

I am not going to say that the members of Lokomotiv Yaroslavl and the NHL players who died this offseason are definitely in heaven or definitely in hell. A lot of bad theology tends to come out at funerals, as people comfort one another with "He is in a better place now" and similar statements. Where they are now is known by them and God. I did not know any of them on a personal level or read much about their personal lives, so I do not know where they are. I will say this: if any of them genuinely knew Christ, those around them would have seen a difference in them from the other people around them. I hope that they did know Christ and are rejoicing with their Lord today. On the other hand, they had one life to use in bringing God glory. If they did not bring God glory here on earth, hell is eternal. You are still alive and still have your chance to turn from our sins and trust in Christ. How long you will remain alive and have that chance is not guaranteed. There were probably some people on that plane who thought they had more time.

Please do not think that this post was anti-hockey or anti-sports. In case you have not seen my writing before, I believe that work was created by God and any kind of work that is not wrong in itself (e.g. working as a career criminal) gives Him praise if done for that reason. This includes sports, as I wrote on "The Proper Place of Sports and Delighting in God". I wrote this, not to be hateful, but out of love for not only other hockey fans and anyone else who might read this, but more than that, for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who is worthy of all of my praise, worship, and obedience. The gospel, if presented accurately according to the Bible, is by its nature offensive. Yet through an offensive cross and a violent death, Jesus took on all of my sins and saved me and can do the same for you.

In conclusion, the new hockey season is underway on both sides of the Atlantic. Let's remember the players and coaches who can't be part of it and thankfully root on those who we still get to see.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Andy Mineo (f.k.a. C-Lite) - "Who's Watching"


Theoretical situation:
I take all of your thoughts, just in the past hour, and put them up on a projector screen for everybody to see.
Yo, God sees those.
We're really that wicked. He's really that holy.

Now, He sees those
Lies from the guys that try to divide.
But God's on my side, so the bride will survive.
Keep my eyes on the prize when the conflict arise.
To live is Christ, and it's gain if I die.
Might seem strange, insane in the eyes
Mainstream cats, they chasin' the lies
Thinkin' that everything they attain is the idealistic,
But really, it all stays when you die.
Think I'm crazed 'cause I don't put my faith in the phrase of a page of a book that was made by man?
That's the statement that stands, my neighbors in France (?)
I think you need the basics, man.
If they never look to see what it says, they can't test
To see if it's true or even take the exam.
Basically, fam, they don't want to think about the grave when it's really time to lay in the sand.
And really, it's only because they're afraid to examine
The ways of their heart. It don't make them say, "Yeah!"
If they find truth in the faith in the jam 'cause all of a sudden it would put a change in their plans.
Can't get crunk, can't get high,
No sex yet, gotta wait for your bride.
If that's the concern of your whole life's purpose,
You missed the whole point. That life's worthless.

(I always feel like somebody's watching me!)
He's omnipotent, omniscient, infinite. God of the universe, time ain't no limit it.
(I always feel like somebody's watching me!)
His name is Jesus. He sees us. We're all going to meet Him soon.
(I always feel like somebody's watching me!)
He's omnipotent, omniscient, infinite. God of the universe, time ain't no limit it.
(I always feel like somebody's watching me!)
His name is Jesus. He sees us. We're all going to meet Him soon.

What are they trying to say?
Christians, trapped like a prisoner?
Really got it backwards, mister.
[You've] got the roles twisted, just don't see the big picture.
Gotta zoom out, see the truth now.
It's the things that we're staying away from,
Make you think that we're lame and evade fun.
'Cause we call it sin and refrain, my friend.
Yo, it's 'cause we know it'll bring pain in the end.
Let me give examples that's ample:
A mouth (?) can't keep your pants on, romance on the couch
With your girlfriend and a couple more - ow
Sooner or later, you're going to say, "Ouch!"
Or what about when it's time to settle down,
Want to get married, maybe have a small child.
With the girl of your dreams, you could share all your secrets.
What if she asks, "How many girls did you sleep with?"
Or vice versa! A double standard? If you knew how many mans [sic] was in it, it would hurt you.
When you come face to face to touch lips, and wonder what else just kissed you.
I ain't trying to dis. None of us [are] perfect.
But why live in sin if you know it brings a hearse trip?
It ain't worth it! We [were] made for a purpose:
His praise and His worship.
I'm hoping you learn this.
Sin is so wack!
It eventually exploits itself. By the time you figure it out, you can't go back!
That's the reason why I serve Him. He's so real, and I'm so certain.
How do I know?
Well, I met Him when I let Him come up in my frame
I opened my heart and believed, and I ain't never been the same
Outside the blood that was spilled for my sin.
Then I called on His name: Jesus!

(I always feel like somebody's watching me!)
He's omnipotent, omniscient, infinite. God of the universe, time ain't no limit it.
(I always feel like somebody's watching me!)
His name is Jesus. He sees us. We're all going to meet Him soon.
(I always feel like somebody's watching me!)
He's omnipotent, omniscient, infinite. God of the universe, time ain't no limit it.
(I always feel like somebody's watching me!)
His name is Jesus. He sees us. We're all going to meet Him soon.

(This song is from Andy's mixtape Sin Is Wack, available on his website. If you are reading this because you were looking for the words to this song, please check out my other posts from the menu at the right! Also, please let me know if I got any of this wrong.)