Pastor R.W. (or is it just R W?) Glenn gave a talk called "Work and Rest" at the Desiring God National Conference back in September. This was really timely for me. Here are some of the things he said:
"We are so obsessed with work that we can't even rest when we rest."
"Driving 'sport utility vehicles' gives us the illusion of engaging in leisure, and at the same time being useful and productive! We are so addicted to work that unless we can rationalize our leisure in terms of productivity, we think we have wasted our time."
"The Christian faith is not a system of achievement. It is not a ladder you ascend to acceptance with God. It is not a list of rules or living a brute system of ethics. It is not about going to church or training your kids or leading a clean, moral lifestyle. It's not a 'do' faith - a faith about all you can do for God. Instead, Christianity is a 'done' faith. It's about trusting in what Jesus Christ has already done for you and then basking in that. ... He did all the work, and you get to relax and enjoy all the benefits."
"How many times have you gotten your assurance of your acceptance of God from your resolve to do more, be better, and try harder - instead of from the grace of God and the gospel?"
"The reason why the culture works so hard and it feels anxious and guilty when it hasn't done enough is that it needs to build the right resume in order to be accepted into the inner circle, whatever that is. ... The problem in the church is exactly the same. ... You're also building a resume because you want acceptance. And while it's certainly true that in the culture, you need to build the right resume to open up doors of acceptance for yourself, that's not at all true for Christianity. And do you know why that is? You already have a perfect resume."
"We are still living as though we have a resume that is yet to be built."
This one got a lot of likes when I posted it on Facebook:
"The reason people work so hard to build a resume to be accepted by the culture is that deep down, they believe that they need to build a resume to be accepted by the Creator. ... It is a function of failing to rest in my acceptance with the Creator. ... Your workaholism, your obsession with getting things done, your inconsolable guilt over not getting to check every item off your list, your feelings of inadequacy over failing to accomplish all you had set out to accomplish with your life or even that day, your low-grade anxiety that you are just not doing enough at home, at work, at church, your inability to unwind - the fact that you're wound up like a top - all of that comes from your tacit belief that your acceptance with God is based on your own resume! ... Why are you so willing to be accepted by the meritocracy that you kill yourself with work in order to get it? Why are you so obsessed with your resume that your failures to be accepted devastate you - you just feel like a loser? ... The reason why you're willing to busy yourself to death is that you want to be accepted by other people. You want to be accepted by the right circle of friends; you want to be accepted by the management for a promotion; you want to be seen as a person who values achievement rather than the mediocre nobodies who sort of fill the landscape. And even your laziness can reflect the same desire for acceptance, just inverted. You blow off work because you realize, 'I'm not going to make the cut, so why bother? I'm never going to be accepted.' Or you feel bitter that your acceptance with others is based not on who you are but on what you've accomplished; you choose to accomplish nothing as a protest. It's your rebellion against the meritocracy. So either way, you are motivated by acceptance.... you are not resting in your acceptance with God."
"Salvation is like a day off. ... Christianity is a day off, not a day at the office. And I get that from [Hebrews] chapter 4, verse 10."
"The reason why I worked like a lunatic was so that I could be looked up to by my colleagues, or at least feel superior to them. ... If my resume included 80+-hour workweeks and getting up at 2:30 and 3 in the morning a few days a week and superior productivity, then I'd be able to [take a deep breath] and feel secure and confident in comparison with these other guys. But if I were resting in Jesus' resume for me, then I would not need to be seen as exceptional. As Tullian Tchividjian puts it, I would be free to be a nobody because Jesus is my somebody."
"Who can top the resume of the Son of God? Piper? Nobody!!"
"Another reason I felt like I had to work like a lunatic was to assuage the guilt feelings that I had over the rest that I did take. ... I felt like I had to justify resting. [Amen! This is where I am right now!] But if I were resting in Christ's righteousness, I would know that everything that truly needed to be accomplished, Christ already accomplished for me. So I could rest, I could relax, and I could actually enjoy the time away from work. ... I wouldn't have to look for justification for my rest. ... Building my pastoral resume for acceptance by others was rooted in the functional belief that I had to build my own resume to be accepted by God. I learned that obsessive resume-building in the world was the fruit of obsessive resume-building before God. Those two things are inseparable. ... Here's the good news: if you want to see your obsessive busyness transformed into diligent work and relaxing leisure to the glory of God, go to work on resting. ... I get that from [Hebrews 4] verse 11."
"Here is the hard work: strive with all your might to keep the gospel front and center in your life. Remember that you already have a perfect resume. Make every effort to remember all that Christ is for you in the gospel. When you do that, you can relax! Because you won't constantly be trying to earn the acceptance of God and other people by your achievements. Your work in your home and church doesn't add to your resume. You can't add to a perfect resume. The only list of accomplishments your Heavenly Father sees for you is the list amassed by Christ. And He has said: It is Finished!" (thank you, Joyful in Hope, for that quote)
Recently, I had a week where I worked all seven days on my business. RescueTime, a great tool to keep self-employed people honest, watched my every move throughout the week and reported to me every day about my productivity. I had about 38 productive hours out of 54 on the computer that week, plus some more time spent off the computer sketching designs and reading technical books. With a few clicks, I can be sure of exactly how much time I was spending on sports blogs. I'm also taking an online class that should help me generate better prospects. And God used the message above to bring me back and show me part of the purpose of the Sabbath:
We are not to be so self-sufficient and self-trusting that we work with all our might every day of the week to give ourselves what only God can.
I was on vacation with my parents two weeks ago. Actually, my mom had a scholarly event to attend and invited me and my dad to come with her because the additional cost was minimal. So we went. I was trying to make it a working vacation. But the work that I am getting paid (a quite low amount) for right now requires a high-speed internet connection. I'm just doing it to pay some bills while I build up my business. Our hotel's internet connection was getting slammed the whole time we were there. Result: I got no work, and thus no money, for that entire week. I had missed out on work two days before we left because it came in right before I had to attend a pastoral search meeting.
Last week was similarly a very slow week in getting work. I made a grand total of $20, though I worked 6 mostly full days identifying sales prospects and what I could do for them. That's way under a dollar per hour worked and probably about what each of my sponsored children's families are making. I went home from my church's Saturday night service last night and kept working until almost midnight. Fortunately, I did achieve my goal for the week (which only dealt with the prospecting... it takes time!). But I felt a stirring need to do work today. The points in that "Work and Rest" message continued really hitting home for me. I did no work today except ministry.
It's interesting to me to see how Luke 9:23 (no, I did not try to rhyme that) keeps playing itself out differently at different stages in life:
"And He was saying to {them} all, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.'"
Things that denying myself has meant:
- Denying myself the party life of college
- Denying myself a better social standing in the eyes of the world
- Denying myself the possibility of many nominal Christians thinking well of me - even in my own family
- Denying myself romantic relationships during several seasons - even if I see many of my friends around me happily in love
- and now: Denying myself some of the work time that the world says I need to make a living as a "solopreneur"*
* I realize that some people will bring up Hebrews and use "Jesus as our Sabbath-rest" as their reason for working themselves to death seven days a week, but I see the Sabbath as a bit of a liberty issue and the Holy Spirit has convicted me that I need to keep it.
I just have to trust Him and realize that "I never made a sacrifice". David Livingstone said the same, and he sacrificed more.
