Godly Fellowship: Part 9: A Barkada, Pan-National: The Greatest of These Is Love.

"Be not proud of race, face, place, or grace."

- Charles Spurgeon.

The cross of Christ levels the playing field by truly eliminating all boasts of man before God. The Lord saves poor and rich, educated and uneducated, criminal and self-righteous. He created us equal, and as Christians we really cannot name any factor that sets us in a "better-than-equal" position before Him. He does this to show his all-surpassing power to save even the most unlikely man and, ultimately, to glorify His name. God glorifies Himself as much when He saves an uneducated serial killer from a poor background as He does when He saves a suburban church kid who has dotted every "i" and crossed every "t" for twenty years. Both have repented, and thus both cause a remarkable amount of joy among the angels in heaven, who have no need for the gospel for themselves because they lack the sin nature of fallen man.

About “race”: The construct of "race" to mean anything other than the human race is largely societal. If anyone could lay claim before God to be closer to God because of their race or ethnicity, it was the Jews in the Old Testament. Yet in Christ, there is no distinction between Greek and Jew. In surrendering this part of our identity, we can see more of how God has glorified Himself by saving people from many different backgrounds from, for, and by Himself. To put it another way, most of my Christian friends do not look like me. Some of them do not speak my native language most of the time. Yet, by taking the time to know them and look at their lives, I have seen God's hand working in and through them - in different ways than I have seen in my own life. Doing this has encouraged my walk with the Lord and enhanced my worship of Him.

About "face": I am currently reading through 1 Chronicles after completing 1 and 2 Samuel and 1 and 2 Kings. King Saul - the ruler that the people picked - was famous for his dashing outward appearance. God, by His sovereign hand, ordained that he be the first human ruler of Israel. Yet He was not pleased with Saul. A shepherd boy who killed a lion, a bear, and a nine-foot-tall Philistine giant spent his life with his heart overjoyed in God's presence and enthralled with the Word and the will of God. He did not look like much when he was called to succeed Saul as king. And Christ did not look like much when He came to Earth. He laid aside His glory and took on a physical frame with physical needs. Rejected by religious and civil authorities and possessing no good looks or noble birth to cause men to esteem Him, Christ lived the truth that "God looks at the heart". It shows me the importance of not allowing human culture's preoccupation with the outward appearance to dictate my thoughts about a brother or sister in Christ. Outwardly, they may look like a fringe figure in society. But if I dig deep in examining their life inwardly, I may be able to see how much they love God more than I do.

About "place": We use "place" to mean several things, such as a place in society or a geographic area. How many times have I thought that God could not save someone just because they work in Hollywood? How many times since September 11, 2001, have my fellow Americans thought that Muslims were beyond saving? "Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save", as Isaiah, inspired by God, gloriously wrote.

And about "grace": I have seen several definitions for this: "God's Riches At Christ's Expense", if you like a memorable acrostic... "God's unmerited favor towards us"... either way, it is driven by God's desire to magnify His own name in us. My church has a very faithful servant who cooks very well for us and participates in many ministries. One of our pastors said that if we were justified by works, this man would be at the front of the line going into heaven. But not even he trusts in his own works. He leans fully on Christ.

Our effort to please God is driven by grace and a heart that He has caused to love Him. Matt Chandler said, "The law was given to show me I can't be perfect, that I'm going to fall short, that I am in desperate need of a Savior (Romans 1-7). When we stumble and fall, the Spirit reminds us of the Scriptures that promise that there has been a death for those failures and that there is a new covenant resting on Christ now and not on my ability to obey the law. This allows me to pursue Christ without fear and by 'beholding His glory I am transformed'." There is no right, biblical way to be proud of ourselves for that. Oh, may I boast in God!

"When you do talk about race, root the conversation in the Gospel."

- Thabiti Anyabwile, “Thabiti’s Top Ten Tips for Talking About Race”.

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“Thou our Father, Christ our brother,

all who live in love are Thine;

teach us how to love each other,

lift us to the joy divine.”

- Henry Van Dyke, “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee”

I take issue with how many larger churches handle the matter of cross-generational fellowship among the brethren. In many large church settings, children grow up in Sunday school, where they change classes from year to year and rarely spend time with anyone outside their own grade. When they become junior high or high school students, they attend their respective youth groups and, again, try to figure out matters of maturity with each other or with young adults leading them who usually are telling them that their parents are not cool.

And there are groups within the youth group of kids with common interests and/or common dislikes who often only spend time with each other. When I was growing up there were cliques in my youth group of kids that either were preps, were jocks, or hated both. (Being hated by both, I hated both and started a group of “freaks” that I called the “freakish brotherhood”… separate rabbit trail.) Generally, there was exclusivity between the groups; and friendships were usually not lifelong – just the typical friendships in my area of the US with an attitude of, “This is where I am right now. I’m not staying. But I might as well have a few friends here, and then I’ll find some new friends after I leave.”

I think the Philippines, with its concept of the barkada, has a huge advantage over America in regards to how people in the two countries treat friendship. I had read about barkadas in several books about the Philippines, but there is no true English translation for the word. Basically, a barkada is a group of friends that feels like a family. Loyalty runs high, and they remain friends after they move away. Some of them have reunions. The friendships can legitimately be lifelong friendships.

And shouldn’t we think of our church family this way? Let us replace our surface, Facebook-level friendships with ties closer than blood brothers and sisters. Blood is thicker than water? Our identity in Christ is thicker than blood and stronger than steel.

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To me, a church like mine is sort of like a larger-scale barkada that is not constrained by age. Sure, there are groups-within-the-group of people who do things outside church together. But I can freely fellowship with almost anyone there, whether we are chopping up divine truth, praying together, discussing work, or playing with cute babies.

And the local church is “a microcosm or a small-scale example / but it is the Church, even though it’s just a sample / invisible, spiritual, physical, visible / not a brick temple, never that simple” (Lecrae, “The Bride”). In heaven we will see the full-scale barkada, comprised of untold numbers of people representing every tribe, language, and nation. This tells me that we have no reason for racism or xenophobia in dealing with our Christian brethren, even those who come from countries with which my country is at war. Here on this earth, we have no lasting city; we seek the Celestial City, which is eternal and far better (Hebrews 13:14).

Let me clear up something: Jesus and Allah are not the same God. Islam is a religion of works, where its adherents work their way to God by keeping the Five Pillars of Islam. Islam sees Jesus Christ as a prophet and has no savior or means of forgiveness. And it does not allow any kind of assurance of salvation. It’s just, “I think I’ve been good enough that I will probably go to paradise.” On the other hand, Christians become saved by repenting of their sins and trusting in Christ. God alone can give them the faith to do that and the assurance that they have been born again. And Christians are called to suffer for the cause of Christ as much as necessary, even to the point of death. These two gods are not the same god. The scandal of the Christian gospel is that the Bible says that Christ is the only way to be saved.

But if I met a brother in Christ who came from the Arab world, grew up in the Islamic faith, and left that faith in favor of Christ, should I not seek to have meaningful godly fellowship with him? And similarly, most of the people that have spoken God’s truth to me through song recently have been Christian rappers, most of whom are from the inner city, and many of whom have a lot of scars in their past. They still minister for God in their cities, and with the changes in their lives they can point to the power of God! Similarly, if I were to meet a man from, say, Venezuela who had converted from Santeria (a Catholicism/animism/Satanism hybrid) to Christianity and displayed a desire for God, should I not discuss the things of God with him as well?

Yes to all of those questions, even if they do not have all their facts about the faith correct – and even if you think there is little or nothing for you to gain from being friends with them. The Bible is a very rich book, and no one aside from God knows the correct answers to every question about theology, soteriology, Christology, eschatology, and so on. However, the biggest item that postmodern thinkers misunderstand or outright deny is the truth that we can know the truth. Jesus Christ Himself even said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free” (John 8:32). And the more of the truth you know – even by wrestling with it – the more that you can pour into other believers, so that they may use it in better imitating Christ.

“If your theology’s bangin’, I hate to offend you.

But where are the faithful men you’ve been pouring it into?”

- Json, “Run”

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To sum up, my favorite Christian bumper stickers out there (no, they are not all kitsch) says this:

Every Tribe, Tongue, and Nation – Or Bust.

And God’s Word says He’s going to do exactly that.

But you don’t just need to spread the gospel wide. Spread it deep.

Paul planted the seed. Apollos watered it. God made it grow. (1 Corinthians 3:6)

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“ ⁷ The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. ⁸ Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ⁹ Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. ¹⁰ Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. ¹¹ If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

- 1 Peter 4:7-11

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For further reading, please check out the prayer at the end of David Legge’s message, “Sins We Have Sanitized, Part 4: Cultural Sins”. Indeed, as he says well, “our love should mark us out”.

Godly Fellowship: Part 8: On the Surrender of Inborn Identity for the Glory of God.

It is profitable to elaborate on my decision to "become the diversity" in my local church. The United States has an abundance of churches, seemingly custom-made to fit the tastes of anyone wishing to attend. This is possibly due to the decision of church-growth experts in the 1980s to "open the front door and close the back door", to market church as a product within America's consumer-driven culture. And of course, it would be ludicrous to suggest that American history would have nothing to do with this. Just as the "black church" has long served as a pillar of African-American identity throughout American history, many other churches cater to the taste of the average suburban and rural whites - whether they explicitly try to or not.

And let us not think that any other ethnicity is free from criticism on this point, except in international ministries to those for whom language barriers are quite real. Are you Korean? You can go to a church where Korean identity is paraded at or above Christian identity. Are you Dutch? You are probably expected to be Dutch Reformed. Are you Irish? The Scottish Presbyterians would be surprised to see you. And of course, I do not argue for a complete ignorance of the cultures that we all come from. God has placed us where we are to feel our way towards Him (Acts 17), and we ought to praise Him for placing us where He has.

In Unfashionable, Tullian Tchividjian recommends that those who find fault in the church's lack of diversity go "be the diversity" at a church full of people that do not look like them. By God's grace, I can speak from the perspective of one who has done that. As of right now, I am, on most Sundays, the only white person in my church. So what would drive me to do that?

Starting several years before I began attending my church, I had what I have always believed a God-given passion for the Philippines. In His providence, He brought several families into my life who had moved to the US from there. One of them had previously attended my church and switched churches to help their children assimilate into American culture. Having fellowship with them each Sunday at my previous church after the service strengthened my ties to their culture. After several years, I went to a Philippine festival and decided to start visiting Philippine churches in our area; and now, I have gone to one of those churches as many Sundays as possible for almost two years. Yet I still live in America and have held lifelong interests in several aspects of American culture. It is not possible for me to wave a magic wand and become Filipino.

Yet God has shown me the profit of laying down cultural identity to focus on Christian identity. In going to my church, I have had to make practical adjustments in my life and invest my time in learning about the culture that my friends there come from. But I do not seek to take on their identity as my own. Our first identity is in Christ and is far more important. Christ did not die for only the Jews, the Americans, the Filipinos, or any other ethnic group. In Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek (Galatians 3:28). One of the ways in which God glorifies Himself in the new covenant is by gathering a people for Himself that transcends every ethnic, national, and language barrier (Revelation 5:9). The cultural identities that He gives us serve a purpose in that He uses them to glorify Himself. In heaven, He does not deny these identities; but He uses them to make much of Himself through those identities and to show that His seal upon them binds them together much stronger than any cultural identity in this world ever can.

Christ lived in this world during the Roman Empire, and doubtless many people in that day thought of themselves as citizens of Rome more than anything else. Rome was the only citizenship that most of them knew. It continued on throughout the entire lives of many people throughout centuries and centuries of history. Yet God appointed a time for the Roman Empire to crumble and fall. The people in the apostles' time did not see this happen, but God made their identity as Romans expire. He made the Latin language die. Other nations took the place of Rome, and studying history now, we see that "Roman" was a temporal, not eternal, identity.

Yet, as many have said well, history repeats itself. Many people in well-to-do nations see their countries as unconquerable and "God and country" as the banner that they wave. Yet if we place anything next to the Most High in our identity, we cease to see Him as the Most High. No other name - "America", "the Philippines", "Dallas Cowboys", "Manchester United", "Boston Red Sox", "New York Yankees", and so on - deserves to be elevated to equal stature with God. I could not be content with only spending time with those who put "American" or any other country on the same level as "Christian". We worship God alone.

It has taken a lot of work to know enough of my friends' culture to be able to fellowship with them. I have had to invest less time in closer, long-running friendships with people from my previous church. To put it more clearly, this has also cost me many of those friends. I have had to read books on Philippine culture, learn some Tagalog, and ask questions about cross-cultural interactions about which I am unclear. In some ways, it resembles a cross-cultural missionary's preparation, though of course they invest a higher level of effort. So it is important to occasionally - not in rabid, constant introspection - check my motivations for doing this. I must remain sure that I do this from a pure heart that wants to see God's name glorified. Only then can this be more than a sociological experiment.

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“In Christ there is no East or West,
In Him no South or North;
But one great fellowship of love
Throughout the whole wide earth.

“In Him shall true hearts everywhere
Their high communion find;
His service is the golden cord,
Close binding humankind.

“Join hands, then, members of the faith,
Whatever your race may be!
Who serves my Father as His child
Is surely kin to me.

“In Christ now meet both East and West,
In Him meet North and South;
All Christly souls are one in Him
Throughout the whole wide earth.”

- William Dunkerley, “In Christ There Is No East or West”

Godly Fellowship: Part 7: He Loves Us So Much More Than We Can Love.

"I assure you, the church is not in need of more girls in their late teens and early twenties who are investing their lives in relationships with young men. What we do need, however, is an army of young women with laser-sharp focus on the Lord and His bride. We need more young women serving, praying, and giving. We need more young women developing and using the spiritual gifts and talents with which they have been blessed.

"The time will come soon enough when they will be weighed down with the responsibilities of husbands, children, and households that will hinder their ability to give of themselves outside their homes. In the meantime, let's call our daughters Godward in their focus and encourage them to keep that keen focus until a young man comes along with equal or greater focus that will allow them to do more for their King together than either of them could do on their own."

- Voddie Baucham, What He Must Be: ... if He Wants to Marry My Daughter, chapter 9: "Don't Send a Woman to Do a Man's Job".

My single friends often concern themselves with "why are there no good godly women in this town?". I love this quote from Pastor Baucham because it turns this complaint on its head. If (read: since) God has called me to be a spiritual leader to my future wife, why is finding a wife more important to me than glorifying Christ? The first question must go to me. It is like Stuart Scott says in The Exemplary Husband (a book I would love to read if I can find it!): the reason why a Christian man's marriage is not as strong as it should be lies with the man; he still acts in his own interests and has not given himself enough to becoming more like Jesus Christ. Since Scripture commands us as men to love our wives like Christ loves the church, we must learn much of Christ and become much like Him in order to love at all like He loves.

And let us not think that we truly can love a woman - or anybody - to the degree that Christ loved us. The precious truth of the gospel more than deserves a mention here. Christ laid aside His kingly glory in heaven, took on human flesh, lived a life with no sin at all, and drank the full cup of His Father's wrath by dying for us. The sky went black for three hours because His Father no longer saw Him as His Son. He looked at Christ and saw my sin and the sins of all of His other children. And He accepted the sacrifice of the very life of His only Son as full payment for that sin. As Shai Linne says in "The Cross - 3 Hours",

"The source of all Godly pleasure, tormented as if He was a foul investor or child molestor.

How could He be bruised like He was a goody two-shoes who doesn't think that she needs the good news?

He's perfect in love and wisdom, but He's suffering as if He constructed the corrupt justice system.

We could mourn at the backdrop, Jesus torn like He's on the corner with crack rock, with porn on His laptop.

What is this, kid? His gifts are infinite. But He's hit with licks for religious hypocrites.

He's the Light, but being treated like He's the seedy type who likes to beat His wife.

He's treated like a rapist, treated like a slanderer, treated like a racist or maybe a philanderer.

Jesus being penalized like He had sin inside, filled with inner pride while committing genocide.

I could write for a billion years and still can't name all of the sins placed on the Lamb slain.

But know this: the main thing the cross demonstrated - the glory and the holiness of God vindicated."

Oh, how He loves us! How can I even fathom the idea of loving Him to the extent that He loved me? His love goes so far beyond my limits! Though I desire to please Him with everything, down to the inmost depths of my heart, soul, mind, and strength, I fail Him every day. His blood eternally covers those failures. How can I even comprehend loving my future asawa to the extent that Christ has loved her? I could perhaps die for her to lengthen her life in this world, but my death cannot save her soul! Praise God that His one perfect Lamb died for her too! But, O God, lay my life down that I may glorify You to the highest extent possible for me as a mortal man!

The Apostle Paul writes that the unmarried man can concern himself more with the Lord's affairs (1 Corinthians 7:32). As an unmarried man, do I? I would love to write a longer post at some point giving more detailed thoughts on courtship, but I can say this quickly: before I began my courtship with the woman who I am praying about, I had trouble believing in my life that this verse was even true. Singleness occupied so much of my concern that I thought that it could not possibly be glorifying to God. But when I had no specific woman to pray about, I had so much more time to read and study Him. Now, the young lady and I are praying about each other and seeking His perfect will for us during this courtship season. I spend very much of my time concerning myself with being a student of her. Although she knows English very well, I have been learning her native language and the culture of her country to help minimize cultural differences between me and her. I spend time learning the ways of marriage from kuyas and ates in my church. I spend time figuring out how to best prepare for her financially, emotionally, and spiritually. And commands in Scripture that once had nothing to do with me may start applying to me.

My focus is different. It went from, "Why don't I have a date this weekend?" a few years ago to "How can I glorify God by spending as much time as possible with Him?" And now it has shifted to, "I have so much activity now. How do I glorify God in these practical things that He has given me to do?" But God gives us the same number of hours in each day. And He gives us enough time to do everything we need to do in order to obey Him. How many extra things am I trying to add to my life in the time that He has given me?

"Purify my heart!

Let me be as gold and precious silver.

Purify my heart!

Let me be as gold, pure gold. ...

Purify my heart!

Cleanse me from within, and make me holy!

Purify my heart!

Cleanse me from my sin, deep within.

Refiner's fire,

My heart's one desire

Is to be holy,

Set apart for You, Lord.

I choose to be holy.

Set apart for You, my Master,

Ready to do Your will."

- Brian Doerksen, "Refiner's Fire"

Godly Fellowship: Part Six: With Absolute Purity.

"No one warns young people to follow Adam's example. He waited till God saw his need. Then God made Adam sleep, prepared for his mate, and brought her to him. We need more of this 'being asleep' in the will of God. Then we can receive what He brings us in His own time, if at all.

"Instead we are set as blood-hounds after a partner, considering everyone we see until our minds are so concerned with the sex problem that we can talk of nothing else when bull-session time comes around. It is true that a fellow cannot ignore women---but he can think of them as he ought--- as sisters, not as sparring partners!"

- Jim Elliot, The Journals of Jim Elliot.

My church is an international church with many Filipino members, so I have had firsthand or secondhand exposure to many cultural customs of the Philippines. One of the customs that, as a Westerner, I have the most trouble grasping is that of a barkada - that guys and girls actually hang out with each other in groups as "just friends" without any romance involved. In junior high and high school, the way I was raised, my mom would often make a big deal whenever I even said hi to a girl. Then I would be so encouraged at my chance to leave my singleness that I thought every single girl that said hi to me was a prospective wife. To this day, I almost only hang out with other guys.

I'm questioning exactly how Biblical it is for a young man to only make it a point to spend time with other young men - or even with older men too. The Bible says that we are to treat older men as fathers, older women as mothers, younger men as brothers, and younger women as sisters - with absolute purity. For a young man in my culture, it is hard to balance "absolute purity" with having anything at all to do with the younger women. It doesn't bother me to spend time with women who are older than me, although if they are married their husbands should be present. And it doesn't bother me to spend time with kids. But then when young ladies who are within several years of my age enter the picture, how can I Biblically have fellowship with them without messing with their hearts – or with mine?

To totally ignore the younger women is to show favoritism towards "my boys" and discriminate against them. This is as bad as the tendency I touched on in a previous post for young men to complete ignore fellowship with the rest of the church body in order to spend more time with a young lady. There are ways that we as Christians often tell each other, "Sit on the floor by my feet" (James 2:3) in more places than just the worship service. Yet they are part of the body of Christ and can be very helpful for fellowship. So, in order for younger women and younger men to best edify one another, we must see each other as Christ sees us, through our identity in Him, which comes from what the Lord has called us, what He has done for us, and how He has set us apart for Him. And it would do us very well to not sensationalize the interactions between the brothers and sisters. If, theoretically, we will do anything short of sin to promote the glory of God, why do we filter out who we will spend time within the body of Christ even though these younger women are, in fact, blood-bought children of the Most High God who, like us, desire to reject sin, follow Christ, and make much of Him?

To seek out only the younger women in fellowship can also have several negative implications. Lecrae has a song called "Live Free" in which he says, "They walk in the church dressed flyer than sea birds / She came to see him; he [is] hoping to see her / Their motives ain't right, and their hearts ain't either / And over God they choose to feed their fever." This is, of course, wrong. And we ought not to fellowship with one segment of the church body at the expense of another.

If I seek out younger women excessively, I ignore my other relationships within the body, perhaps most importantly (for me as a younger man) the "older men as fathers". To become more spiritually mature, I need to learn from men who are older than I am and mature in the faith. One of the best ways to do that is to work alongside these men in various sorts of ministry. But words are as important as actions. To get off on a separate rabbit trail, talk is cheap; but you also cannot share your faith with just your lifestyle. You need words. And similarly, in good godly fellowship, you need both words and action.

In junior high and high school, I often went to my old church to see which girls were there each week. And my motivation for wanting that church's youth ministry to do more outreaches was not getting the Gospel out to more people, but getting more cute girls to come to the church. As I started to grow in the knowledge of the things of God later, I started to realize how wrong it is to think this way. Purity in physical affections is very important, but having a pure heart is harder to maintain. We can hide our hearts' true motives from others more easily than we can conceal physical affection. Seeking to see others within the body the way that God sees them is a constant fight, and we must make war against the sin of seeing other true believers in a way that defines our perceptions of them according to any kind of discriminating factor, not just looks. I pray to this end.