Lessons Learned from My International Courtship, Part 1

As I mentioned in the previous post, I have been putting together a list of 25 things I have learned during and after my international courtship. Here is the first part of that list:

1. Distance is not a bad thing in a relationship, as long as you maintain clear and regular lines of communication. If anything, distance can actually help because the relationship becomes based on words. It also helps maintain a higher standard of physical purity and takes away temptations to fall in that area. However, emotional temptations still exist and probably become stronger.

2. Trust between two partners in a long-distance courtship is critically important. A great deal of doubts and suspicion arise when you cannot trust the other person to stay committed in a courtship. For about 8 months, I never smiled with interest at another woman, lest I betray my trust to her. She and I were in a stalemate because I would not tell her that I loved her until she showed commitment to me, and she would not give me her commitment or her love until I told her that I loved her. So she allowed other young men to stay in the picture, although her only other suitor was an unbeliever. Ultimately, I did not tell her that I loved her (although I definitely did!) because our doctrinal differences would have left her unwilling to stay involved in my church and my first loyalty is to God, not to a woman. (To clarify, if I were married, I would not divorce my wife if she turned out to embrace false doctrine or be a false believer. Scripture forbids that. But this was a courtship.)

3. Do not use theology to manipulate a courtship partner. For most of this courtship, I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I had access to great theological resources and she did not. So in effect, I was using the courtship as a means to teach her sound doctrine. After a while, she felt like she had to earn my love. Men, you have to know what you believe and what she believes before the courtship begins. Do not bait her with, "If you will suddenly stop being an Arminian and believe the 5 solas and the 5 points, you can have a courtship with me" or "As soon as you say, 'I am a Calvidispiebaptogelical' or 'I am a hedonist. I seek my pleasure ... / not in wealth, no, He's my treasure!', I will have a rock for your finger!" (If you live on a gravel road, rocks are cheap. ;-) )

4. Know when to walk away. I spent a significant amount of time in prayer about her and fasted for probably a total of a week and a half to two weeks, spread over the whole courtship period. During the last month of the courtship, I realized that I already knew what was pleasing to God and was using fasting to try to manipulate Him. I really just needed to obey Him in faith.

5. "They are somehow our brothers, man." - Sho Baraka. Some people who subscribe to false teaching are merely trapped there and will accept the true Word of God when it is shared with them. However, to keep listening to false teachers, they refuse to discern. We cannot say that everyone who does not reject the teaching of a heretic is unconverted. Many people who accept false teaching bear more good fruit for the Lord than I do. Their communion with God is more uninterrupted; they are better at loving the brethren; they are more willing to serve. If I do not love them back, that reflects a problem with my heart, not with theirs.

6. Don't expect someone from an egalitarian background to suddenly become a complementarian because of love. I said in the previous post that her father is a pastor. Her mother is also a pastor and regularly preaches in their church's service on Sundays. To any Reformed Baptist, this is a red flag. Scripture does not permit women to teach or have authority over men in the church. Many people have said this instruction from the Apostle Paul merely applies to the culture of New Testament times, when he did his ministry. I would counter with this: if a church permits women to preach, that is often indicative of more important compromises in doctrine. Here, there were many. I never mentioned the issue of women preaching to her or her family, not wanting to start a fight over a side issue, but I kept this in the back of my mind. People put up a false front to get other people to love them.

7. Doctrinal differences that can be smoothed over between friends become magnified a thousand fold in a courtship, engagement, or marriage. Biblical manhood and womanhood is one very significant area for couples. She had never heard those terms or was unfamiliar with them, so I tried to explain to her what they meant. I showed her from Scripture that it is good for a married woman to be busy at home and have her heart at home, not in the workplace; to work only out of necessity and not define herself by her job. And I told her that my goal in working and planning my future is not to be rich, but to still give her no financial reason to need to work outside the home. Although she was possibly telling me this from a short-sighted point of view, she told me she wanted to always work and admitted to me that she is a workaholic before her long hours started. After the long hours started, she mostly only wanted to discuss her job and did not want to talk about God with me. That was when I truly realized that our visions do not line up. Having a common vision for the family based on a common understanding of Biblical manhood and womanhood resolves many conflicts.

8. I became deeply aware of the global theological famine and, in particular, its effects on Christians in the Third World. Desiring God International Outreach uses the term "global theological famine" to describe the inability of Christians outside the Western world to access theological resources that help establish them in sound doctrine. Even Christians who have access to a complete Bible do not always know how to read it in a profitable way that shows them the truth. They cannot learn the historical and cultural context of the Word. As a result, many of them do not realize that Jeremiah 29:11 was not written to them, claim it as their favorite verse, and believe that God has promised by it to get them out of poverty. And then when they have spent the whole rest of their lives in poverty, their faith is crushed.

Godly Fellowship: Part 7: He Loves Us So Much More Than We Can Love.

"I assure you, the church is not in need of more girls in their late teens and early twenties who are investing their lives in relationships with young men. What we do need, however, is an army of young women with laser-sharp focus on the Lord and His bride. We need more young women serving, praying, and giving. We need more young women developing and using the spiritual gifts and talents with which they have been blessed.

"The time will come soon enough when they will be weighed down with the responsibilities of husbands, children, and households that will hinder their ability to give of themselves outside their homes. In the meantime, let's call our daughters Godward in their focus and encourage them to keep that keen focus until a young man comes along with equal or greater focus that will allow them to do more for their King together than either of them could do on their own."

- Voddie Baucham, What He Must Be: ... if He Wants to Marry My Daughter, chapter 9: "Don't Send a Woman to Do a Man's Job".

My single friends often concern themselves with "why are there no good godly women in this town?". I love this quote from Pastor Baucham because it turns this complaint on its head. If (read: since) God has called me to be a spiritual leader to my future wife, why is finding a wife more important to me than glorifying Christ? The first question must go to me. It is like Stuart Scott says in The Exemplary Husband (a book I would love to read if I can find it!): the reason why a Christian man's marriage is not as strong as it should be lies with the man; he still acts in his own interests and has not given himself enough to becoming more like Jesus Christ. Since Scripture commands us as men to love our wives like Christ loves the church, we must learn much of Christ and become much like Him in order to love at all like He loves.

And let us not think that we truly can love a woman - or anybody - to the degree that Christ loved us. The precious truth of the gospel more than deserves a mention here. Christ laid aside His kingly glory in heaven, took on human flesh, lived a life with no sin at all, and drank the full cup of His Father's wrath by dying for us. The sky went black for three hours because His Father no longer saw Him as His Son. He looked at Christ and saw my sin and the sins of all of His other children. And He accepted the sacrifice of the very life of His only Son as full payment for that sin. As Shai Linne says in "The Cross - 3 Hours",

"The source of all Godly pleasure, tormented as if He was a foul investor or child molestor.

How could He be bruised like He was a goody two-shoes who doesn't think that she needs the good news?

He's perfect in love and wisdom, but He's suffering as if He constructed the corrupt justice system.

We could mourn at the backdrop, Jesus torn like He's on the corner with crack rock, with porn on His laptop.

What is this, kid? His gifts are infinite. But He's hit with licks for religious hypocrites.

He's the Light, but being treated like He's the seedy type who likes to beat His wife.

He's treated like a rapist, treated like a slanderer, treated like a racist or maybe a philanderer.

Jesus being penalized like He had sin inside, filled with inner pride while committing genocide.

I could write for a billion years and still can't name all of the sins placed on the Lamb slain.

But know this: the main thing the cross demonstrated - the glory and the holiness of God vindicated."

Oh, how He loves us! How can I even fathom the idea of loving Him to the extent that He loved me? His love goes so far beyond my limits! Though I desire to please Him with everything, down to the inmost depths of my heart, soul, mind, and strength, I fail Him every day. His blood eternally covers those failures. How can I even comprehend loving my future asawa to the extent that Christ has loved her? I could perhaps die for her to lengthen her life in this world, but my death cannot save her soul! Praise God that His one perfect Lamb died for her too! But, O God, lay my life down that I may glorify You to the highest extent possible for me as a mortal man!

The Apostle Paul writes that the unmarried man can concern himself more with the Lord's affairs (1 Corinthians 7:32). As an unmarried man, do I? I would love to write a longer post at some point giving more detailed thoughts on courtship, but I can say this quickly: before I began my courtship with the woman who I am praying about, I had trouble believing in my life that this verse was even true. Singleness occupied so much of my concern that I thought that it could not possibly be glorifying to God. But when I had no specific woman to pray about, I had so much more time to read and study Him. Now, the young lady and I are praying about each other and seeking His perfect will for us during this courtship season. I spend very much of my time concerning myself with being a student of her. Although she knows English very well, I have been learning her native language and the culture of her country to help minimize cultural differences between me and her. I spend time learning the ways of marriage from kuyas and ates in my church. I spend time figuring out how to best prepare for her financially, emotionally, and spiritually. And commands in Scripture that once had nothing to do with me may start applying to me.

My focus is different. It went from, "Why don't I have a date this weekend?" a few years ago to "How can I glorify God by spending as much time as possible with Him?" And now it has shifted to, "I have so much activity now. How do I glorify God in these practical things that He has given me to do?" But God gives us the same number of hours in each day. And He gives us enough time to do everything we need to do in order to obey Him. How many extra things am I trying to add to my life in the time that He has given me?

"Purify my heart!

Let me be as gold and precious silver.

Purify my heart!

Let me be as gold, pure gold. ...

Purify my heart!

Cleanse me from within, and make me holy!

Purify my heart!

Cleanse me from my sin, deep within.

Refiner's fire,

My heart's one desire

Is to be holy,

Set apart for You, Lord.

I choose to be holy.

Set apart for You, my Master,

Ready to do Your will."

- Brian Doerksen, "Refiner's Fire"

Godly Fellowship: Part Six: With Absolute Purity.

"No one warns young people to follow Adam's example. He waited till God saw his need. Then God made Adam sleep, prepared for his mate, and brought her to him. We need more of this 'being asleep' in the will of God. Then we can receive what He brings us in His own time, if at all.

"Instead we are set as blood-hounds after a partner, considering everyone we see until our minds are so concerned with the sex problem that we can talk of nothing else when bull-session time comes around. It is true that a fellow cannot ignore women---but he can think of them as he ought--- as sisters, not as sparring partners!"

- Jim Elliot, The Journals of Jim Elliot.

My church is an international church with many Filipino members, so I have had firsthand or secondhand exposure to many cultural customs of the Philippines. One of the customs that, as a Westerner, I have the most trouble grasping is that of a barkada - that guys and girls actually hang out with each other in groups as "just friends" without any romance involved. In junior high and high school, the way I was raised, my mom would often make a big deal whenever I even said hi to a girl. Then I would be so encouraged at my chance to leave my singleness that I thought every single girl that said hi to me was a prospective wife. To this day, I almost only hang out with other guys.

I'm questioning exactly how Biblical it is for a young man to only make it a point to spend time with other young men - or even with older men too. The Bible says that we are to treat older men as fathers, older women as mothers, younger men as brothers, and younger women as sisters - with absolute purity. For a young man in my culture, it is hard to balance "absolute purity" with having anything at all to do with the younger women. It doesn't bother me to spend time with women who are older than me, although if they are married their husbands should be present. And it doesn't bother me to spend time with kids. But then when young ladies who are within several years of my age enter the picture, how can I Biblically have fellowship with them without messing with their hearts – or with mine?

To totally ignore the younger women is to show favoritism towards "my boys" and discriminate against them. This is as bad as the tendency I touched on in a previous post for young men to complete ignore fellowship with the rest of the church body in order to spend more time with a young lady. There are ways that we as Christians often tell each other, "Sit on the floor by my feet" (James 2:3) in more places than just the worship service. Yet they are part of the body of Christ and can be very helpful for fellowship. So, in order for younger women and younger men to best edify one another, we must see each other as Christ sees us, through our identity in Him, which comes from what the Lord has called us, what He has done for us, and how He has set us apart for Him. And it would do us very well to not sensationalize the interactions between the brothers and sisters. If, theoretically, we will do anything short of sin to promote the glory of God, why do we filter out who we will spend time within the body of Christ even though these younger women are, in fact, blood-bought children of the Most High God who, like us, desire to reject sin, follow Christ, and make much of Him?

To seek out only the younger women in fellowship can also have several negative implications. Lecrae has a song called "Live Free" in which he says, "They walk in the church dressed flyer than sea birds / She came to see him; he [is] hoping to see her / Their motives ain't right, and their hearts ain't either / And over God they choose to feed their fever." This is, of course, wrong. And we ought not to fellowship with one segment of the church body at the expense of another.

If I seek out younger women excessively, I ignore my other relationships within the body, perhaps most importantly (for me as a younger man) the "older men as fathers". To become more spiritually mature, I need to learn from men who are older than I am and mature in the faith. One of the best ways to do that is to work alongside these men in various sorts of ministry. But words are as important as actions. To get off on a separate rabbit trail, talk is cheap; but you also cannot share your faith with just your lifestyle. You need words. And similarly, in good godly fellowship, you need both words and action.

In junior high and high school, I often went to my old church to see which girls were there each week. And my motivation for wanting that church's youth ministry to do more outreaches was not getting the Gospel out to more people, but getting more cute girls to come to the church. As I started to grow in the knowledge of the things of God later, I started to realize how wrong it is to think this way. Purity in physical affections is very important, but having a pure heart is harder to maintain. We can hide our hearts' true motives from others more easily than we can conceal physical affection. Seeking to see others within the body the way that God sees them is a constant fight, and we must make war against the sin of seeing other true believers in a way that defines our perceptions of them according to any kind of discriminating factor, not just looks. I pray to this end.

An Addendum to Godly Fellowship, Part 5: More Meditations on Biblical Womanhood.

“’Mature femininity’ refers not to what sin has made of womanhood or what popular opinion makes of it, but what God willed for it to be at its best.”

- John Piper and Wayne Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

I believe that these posts serve as a good arena for passing on advice without being flirtatious, so please let me go ahead and share some things that I have heard and read regarding godly womanhood. Several young men that I know are chomping at the bit to meet godly young women. Yet many of the young women that we meet, even inside churches, display little if any desire to be like Christ.

I praise God for the young women in my generation and in other generations who do know what it means to be a woman of worth and seek to put down the things of this world and pursue God. Let this be an encouragement to them and an exhortation to all women who may read this.

First, I would like to point you to the lyrics to “Work It Out”, by Shai Linne, available at his blog, Lyrical Theology.

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Eric Mason's two-part message from December 2007, The Wise Woman, is a goldmine for insight into Biblical womanhood. You can find the full sermons at Epiphany Fellowship's website. Since I have not seen them transcribed anywhere, here are some especially memorable quotes from the first message.

“Another thing that young women are learning today is ‘calling’ – small letter – at the expense of ‘Calling’ – big letter. … I believe that women are being taught about the call of God that comes subjectively through feelings, intuitions, and personal dreams – not fueled by big C [Calling]. Everybody’s saying, ‘I feel it in my spirit that the Lord wants me to…’, but never, ‘I’m looking at the Scriptures, and I’m feeling that what I’m feeling in my spirit [isn’t] what the Spirit is giving.

“God’s woman is a woman of rich depth. It says here, ‘An excellent wife, who can find?’ Adam didn’t have to ask that question. ... In Genesis, God brought an excellent woman [Rebekah] to him [Isaac]. She wasn’t a rarity, but because of the Fall, this question has to be asked now. … Sin has so pervaded our lives that there has to be an eternal search committee together to help a man to find a good woman. ….

“The first Eve wanted to create meaning for her life. So what happened was, … when the enemy came to her, and she began to lay out what God had instructed Adam, what Adam had passed on to her, the devil [said], ‘You know, He doesn’t want you to eat because He doesn’t want you to have the knowledge of good and evil. That’s how He’s saying things now? God’s a trip. … He’s a tyrant. I don’t like Him either. And [do] you know what He wants to do? He wants to hold you back. He wants to limit your freedoms. It’s a conspiracy, girl, because He wants to stop you from getting your potential, woman of God. … He’s trying to stop you from getting to the next level.’ … Eve said, ‘Amen, devil; Amen! Hallelujah!’ … The devil always wants you to focus on your restrictions: can women preach in the church? … ‘What about this? What about that?’ … So that when he has you focused on ‘whatever’, your eyes get taken off of Him. The woman of worth is a different type of woman. …

“It [the word for ‘excellent’] could be translated ‘a woman of wealth, who can find her?’. He’s not talking about pearls; He’s not talking about diamonds; He’s not talking about earrings. He’s not talking about being able to shop at Tiffany’s. He’s not talking about being able to shop at Saks Fifth Avenue, and not the outlet. He’s not talking about being able to shop at Neiman Marcus, and not the outlet. … He’s not talking about how many crunches you can do, or how you can get a six-pack like Janet Jackson’s. … He’s talking about a woman who is loaded with worth – internal worth. …

“The woman of worth is so valuable – she’s so spiritually gorgeous – she’s so spiritually weighty that a man is hard pressed to find her. He says, ‘I’m not shallow, baby. I’m not talking about the ditzy girls. I’m not talking about a chick, baby.’ See, there’s a difference between a ‘chick’ and a woman. A ‘chick’ is just somebody in the crowd that flosses her physical physique. Fellas on the block say, ‘Aw man, look at that chick over there. I like that chick.’ But then there’s some women, that when you run across them, their essence demands an upgrade. … There is just something that oozes out of [their souls] that demands that they be approached differently. The question is today, women, is: what do you use as a barometer and as a measuring rod for whether or not you’re worth anything? …

“Because of the Lord, you can respond differently to life. See, the woman of worth is a new brand of a woman. … I hate when people say, ‘Man, that woman is a dying breed.’ That’s not good news. Ladies, the woman of worth can’t be a dying breed. There is a call on your life by God to be a woman of worth. There is a call on your life to be beefy in the faith. There is a call on your life to be a theologian – amen! There is a call on your life for your soul to be rich and dripping with what it means to be a Biblical woman, an excellent woman. Jesus has given us everything we need for righteousness and godliness, and that’s not just for men. …

“It is not because you are good in and of yourself, ladies. … It is because Jesus Christ is in your life. … What does the woman of worth value that makes her valuable? A woman of worth is valuable because she first values Jesus. And how do you know that she values Jesus? She values God’s ordained role for her. Eve in the garden didn’t know that the enemy was switching roles. … He wanted to reverse God’s order, and instead of it being God/man/woman/children/animals, he wanted to switch it for it to be devil, woman, and man. The woman of worth understands that submission does not mean a subtraction of worth, but an emphasis on worth. When you try to live outside of God’s ordained bounds or role, you’re living below your calling. Paul said in 2 Cor. 11:3, ‘For I betroth you to one husband, which is Christ. But I am afraid that, as the devil tempted Eve, you may be drawn away from the simplicity of devotion to Christ.’ … Not only that; she values the Word. …

“Not only does she value her God-ordained role, but she understands that her internal beauty increases her external beauty. There’s nothing worse than seeing a fly sister, and then she comes on the scene saying, ‘ ‘EY! ‘EY! COME HERE! … HA HA. YOU HEARD THAT!’ There’s nothing worse than [a] loud-talkin’, gum-poppin’, cigarette-smokin’, think-she’s-all-that chick. … A lot of guys like the girl that looks ‘a’ight’. She even looks ‘a’ight’, but … she’s the woman that probably nobody paid much attention to. But then in Bible study, she raises her hand and asks a question. And everybody kind of turns around and looks, … and then all the fellas are scheming about who’s going to holler at her first. … And not just that she quotes verses, even though we want verses, because sometimes some of us will throw verses out there as a fog, because some of us may like somebody and we know they like verses. But she memorizes the verses, contemplates them; and she repents of her sin. She weeps before the Lord when she has wronged somebody. She doesn’t wear her emotions on her forehead.

“Ladies, I pray today for you, that the best thing about you is your soul. I’m telling you, I don’t care how much perfume you put on. I don’t care how much lipstick. I don’t care if you use MAC makeup. You know what I’m saying? … We want you to look nice. We don’t want you going, ‘He said I could be like this. 1 Corinthians 5 says…!’ … That does have importance in Proverbs 31, but we wanted to make sure you understood the other stuff first.”

- Eric Mason, “The Wise Woman, Part 1”

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“She [your wife] must love God more than she loves you.”

- Kuya Ariel from my church.

Godly Fellowship: Part Five: Kuyas and Ates, and the Trade of Becoming a Biblical Adult.

“ ^11: I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— ^12: that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.”

- Romans 1:11-12

Now what about the other men?

Older men and married men can pour a lot of knowledge into single men. And since single men have more time to spend reading the Bible and theology books, perhaps the edification can go both ways. (* That is if they are the Apostle Paul's kind of single. I know almost completely beyond a doubt that I do not have the gift of remaining single forever, and I am still somewhat perplexed that the Word of God calls it a "gift". But at the same time, the verse that said single people have more time to serve the Lord is not nonsense. I have said, "Yeah, right", to that passage for many years. But we should treat it as no less inerrant, no less divinely inspired, and no less true than anything else in Scripture. Let us not think for a second that the God who saved us and is perfect in every way would ever tell a lie.)

Voddie Baucham's book What He Must Be is an amazing explanation of biblical manhood and how to prepare ourselves as young men for leading a family Biblically when God, in His timing, entrusts us to fulfill that role in our households.

Pastor Baucham had this to say to fathers:

"Take an interest in young men in your church. Engage them in conversation. Find out who they are, what they like, how they think, and what their hopes and dreams are. I am convinced that there are more eligible young men out there than most of us think. Unfortunately, we are not simply turning over enough rocks to find what we're looking for. We are all searching for the young man who looks like a king while ignoring the shepherd boy who has exactly what God is looking for (1 Samuel 16:1-12)."

This is part of a very well-titled chapter: "Can't Find One?... Build One."

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We as young people would do well to live this out in the other way: by purposefully seeking to spend time with older believers (our Kuyas and Ates, for my readers from the Philippines :-) ). Not all of them are living out Biblical manhood and womanhood, but we can identify those who are and seek them out. Pastor Mason, in a four-part series of sermons called The Wise Man and The Wise Woman, brought up the point that we ought not to trust just anyone’s advice in regards to spiritual maturity or Biblical manhood and womanhood:

“[They are] very careful what women they listen to. They don’t let all women in the body speak into their life. … She’s willing to call into remembrance everything that’s in the Word of God and say, ‘That sounds good, but it’s not Bible.’ In other words, you’ve got to begin … to have a funnel for who you allow to speak into your life, because somebody could be trying to speak the order of God right out of your life – and then you’ll begin to subtract in value. You begin to subtract in value, because you’ve taken order into your own hands.”

- Eric Mason, “The Wise Woman, Part 1”

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“Just because someone is old does not make them wise. Never forget: the fables are the ones 'carried by elderly women'. There are a lot of old fools, who have no business giving counsel in the church because their counsel is based on their experience. I don't need your 'experience', unless it is only given as an illustration to what you're teaching me in the Word. Do not give your opinion; it's worth nothing. Be able to open up your mouth and give the Word. 'Well, I think...' - no, it doesn't matter. What does He say? …

"And just because someone is young does not make them foolish.... [Robert Murray McCheyne] is a boy when he is writing some of this stuff - a boy! And yet I can spend a thousand days in my study and not be able to come up with what he has written in a paragraph!

"Young people, listen to me: You have been taught the lie of adolescence, so that you believe that you're not supposed to become a man or a mature woman until you are in your thirties. There are 12-year-olds that God has used to change the world. Why don't you join the ranks? Lay aside the Xboxes and all the silly things on television; and discipline yourself to godliness, so that God can use you!"

- Paul Washer, “Things Applicable for God’s Servants”

Biblical manhood and womanhood is a trade that we younger Christians must learn – and take even more seriously than we do our own jobs. And not all other Christians that you meet will give you Biblically correct, sound advice. Some will give you false doctrine or thoughts based in psychology or other worldly wisdom. While we need to respect our elders (Leviticus 19:32 and others) and obey them when told as long as it does not force us to disobey God, we need to consider their advice to us in light of Scripture.

Most of the time, people are thought of as “open-minded” or “closed-minded”. “Open-minded” means that they will accept anything they are told; “closed-minded” means that they are set in their ways and beliefs and will not change for any reason. In one of my favorite parts of his book The Bravehearted Gospel, Eric Ludy says that as Christians we need to have what he calls the “canon-mind”, testing everything and holding onto the good (1 Thessalonians 5:21) and using Scripture as the measuring rod to determine what ideas and thoughts to accept or reject. (For an example of this, he tells how early church fathers would determine what books to include in the Bible. It is a fascinating read.)

Reading good Christian books and listening to sermons about this is great. Most of our peers are not doing that, but they should. But it is better to also see this truth lived out. This is one of the best practical benefits that we can gain from church: the community. This extends beyond your own age and your own hobbies. If a fellow Christian who seeks out sound doctrine can speak any of the same languages that you do, you can minister to them; and they, to you. Even if a language barrier does exist between you and them, you can still both learn from each other’s actions.

Whether they serve in full-time ministry or not, every young man in a church body ought to take some lessons from the life of Timothy. And the older men discipling them ought to model Paul by providing words and actions worth emulating. This is how the faith gets passed down: not by assuming that the generation after us knows the gospel and does not need to hear any more about it, but by constantly learning the truths of God and pouring them into future generations. Pray hard that you will leave this kind of legacy on earth after God takes you home:

"These are my last words. This is my last phrase.

These are my last thoughts. These are my last days.

My life's invested in you, just as Jesus did for me.

And through you I live on, so continue on with this legacy.

Your prayer for me - carry out the evidence of this love,

And let the truth you learned in youth that you're convinced of.

Yes, sir; God inspired these words to teach you

So you'll know the truth and it could reach you.

Then it reproves you and it beats you,

Corrects you and straightens you up just where it needs to.

Then it instructs you and disciplines and trains you

In righteousness, so you're equipped to be who God has made you.

And what I gave you is more than my words.

It's my life transferred, since the day we conferred.

So preach the Word, in and out of season. The reason

is Jesus. Believe that I've seen Him. They need Him.

"Now, I've been running this race for some time.

Now I hand it off to you 'cause it's the end of my life.

I'm praying that, oh, wherever you roam,

[you] know you'll never walk alone, oh no.

Keep your faith in the Word of the Lord.

Teaching men to worship Christ is what we live for.

Then give it back like I'm giving to you.

The time is yours. It's yours."

- 116 Clique, "It's Yours (2 Timothy)"