Recent Meditations: What I Have Been Reading and Listening To

A few things have happened in my life recently. Two weekends ago, I finally finished reading Future Grace by John Piper and started reading The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott. Future Grace was an amazing read, and I have now lent it to another young man in my small group. The main point in it that has applied to me this year was that, although thoughts of depression are common in the Christian life, allowing them to stay there and sink into a state of despondency is a sin that I must make war against. Christ made war against despondency as He prayed in the garden of Gethsemane while His disciples slept. Charles Spurgeon, the Prince of Preachers, likewise made war against despondency as depression came up very frequently in his Christian life.

Obeying this exhortation to make war against despondency brought me to conviction about the music that I was listening to. On this blog I have occasionally made much of my collection of gospel rap and worship music, but I also listened to a lot of secular metal, industrial music, and depressing rock music that all contained lyrics that, while not objectionable on the surface, fostered depressed and discontent attitudes in me that allowed me to remain in despair and unbelief in the goodness and faithfulness of God. The day that I finished Future Grace, I deleted over 900 songs from my iPod. (Please note: I did not do this as a legalistic statement against listening to secular music. I am not going to legislate that my fellow Christians must do the same thing or else they are not holy. In fact, I did not delete all of my secular music, only that which caused me to sin. I still have a great deal of mostly instrumental trance music, worldbeat music, and other secular music that does not cause me to sin.)

Some would question my decision to read books like The Exemplary Husband. I am not married and not courting anyone. However, the obligations of Biblical manhood that can apply to single men still apply to me. And it is actually refreshing to me to read a book about marriage that does not rely on worldly wisdom. I first heard of this book because Brother Paul Washer has mentioned it in numerous sermons about the family. And I realize that husbands will find this book convicting in different ways than I will, but it is convicting even to me as I consider whether and how I live too casually with respect to the gravity of God's glory.

Last Sunday, my church also voted on its first deacons. I was chosen along with six others, and several more people were nominated for deacon and elder roles. For now, I am one of the two youngest deacons and the only one who is not married or engaged. The roles of deacons in my church are to serve the church, serve as a point of contact for ministries (as a go-between for our pastor/elders and those in charge of ministries, for accountability), and provide Biblical counseling for families in the church. Please pray that all of us as well as our pastor and elders will serve God and the body of Christ for His glory and not our own, in a way that God will find us faithful to Him and His Word.

My church was also quite blessed to collaborate with several other churches around our region yesterday for a quarterly Olympic Games "in-reach". It was encouraging to see several brothers from other churches for the first time in several months and discuss ministry, studies, and our walk with Christ. One of my friends told me that his brother has gone back overseas to study in Bible college, to prepare for a life of missions in a closed country, with the understanding that he will probably lose his life for the gospel there. I have never met this young man but sense a strong desire to fast and pray for him - not to avoid danger for the gospel but to suffer well for Christ when it comes.

Sometimes, it just helps to reflect on words that others have written, sung, and spoken. These are some lyrics in songs that have done a great deal to edify me recently.

"Man all I ever wanted was to be labeled the greatest,

Cassius Clay on spittin' rhymes while rockin' the lastest.

But that crept into my life in Christ. It was evident

As I debated how I was better than the rest of them. [So guilty here!!]

Works-based righteousness: based my worth on some type of list and

If I keep it or not, perfected every night since this.

Now, I'm looking for approval, and I'm selfish,

So all I want to do is try to outdo you!

Silent when you ask me. Later, I'm bragging like a fool.

Far from His image and couldn't see it. Where is the Zoom?

This is grace in my moment of reproof. That helps me see the truth.

Just how I sound, no AutoTune.

And in this life, the last will be first and the first is last.

And He's a servant to the end. We're certain of that.

That's what I heard: freedom from the curse.

Livin' to a hearse, but the latter doesn't matter when you're in reverse."

- Tedashii, "Reverse".

"I found myself in You,

Believing in Your promises. Nothing else is true.

It's all fleeting, gone any minute.

I stand on Christ, the Solid Rock, until Your work is finished.

You could have came as a conquering King,

who knocked dead His opponents, one, two, three.

But You came as a Babe, so meek,

Lived a perfect life and died for me.

Any response would bring glory to Your name.

Holy is the Most High. We live to spread Your fame.

Yes, You're the King that the prophets spoke about,

that the Father was pleased to crush. You took our sins out!

I'll never know how much it really cost when You stretched out Your arms and took up my cross.

I was blind, but now I see right.

You give sight.

You're the Way, the Truth, the Life.

"Man, I wasn't even looking.

I didn't even know how lost I was.

But now the mystery's revealed.
My chance [?] is what it took Him,

but by the Lord's grace, now I'm bought by blood,

because the mystery's revealed."

- Dillon Chase feat. Tre Marquis, "Mystery Revealed".

"All for me, why? No, we don't deserve Your grace.

We deserve the place after death burning under graves.

That's why we praise, 'cause we've been saved from the flames.

Enslaved by Your ways, it's You I try to imitate.

'Daddy, Daddy' - that's what I call You now.

Entrusted like loving vows, stuffing Your word in my mouth,

Chew it up and breathe it out. We love You and scream it loud.

Lord, crush all of our doubts. I stand in awe of You - wow! ...

"I'm in awe of You. And what's amazing is I haven't seen all of You. ...
There is no English word that can describe Your glory.

Though I'm a mess with filthy rags, You didn't ignore me.

You sought covenant with me despite my story,

In fact, You pursued me like Hawks hunt Corey. [?]

I made so many mistakes,

But You sent Jesus so my sins would be replaced.

There are times where I felt that You should've [taken] my life

Or embarrassed me. But instead, Your love took flight.

In fact, in every hard time You've always came to the rescue.

Right on time, and I was never left to

Do it on my own. That's why I stand in awe,

Because You're the greatest one that I ever saw."

- Colt feat. K-Drama, "In Awe of You".