Identities of a Christian Pilgrim in a Fallen World, Part 3

21.  I am differently driven.  Exhorted to do nothing out of selfish ambition, I must humbly seek to glorify God in everything I do.  This does not mean throwing away all ambitious dreams, but sanctifying them.  "Sometimes God brings our dreams to life; sometimes He doesn't.  But how we respond to His work creates an important intersection for change in our lives.  As we cooperate with Him, we discover that it's not ultimately about nailing the promotion, or raising well-behaved kids, or winning the Daytona 500 - as good as all of those things may be.  It's about something much bigger: how I become like Christ while I pursue these dreams." - Dave Harvey, Rescuing Ambition.  (Philippians 2:3)

22.  I am on the Lord's side.  This means that, particularly in times of distress, He gives me triumph over those who hate me and stand against me.  Nothing happens to anyone, believer or unbeliever, outside God's control.  But since I am His child, my Father in Heaven actively fights for me against my enemies.  "God will repay.  You cannot improve upon His justice.  He sees every angle of the evil against you - far better than you can see it.  His justice will be more thorough than any justice you could administer." - John Piper, Future Grace.  (Psalm 118:6-7, Romans 8:31-33).

23.  I am a hyper-conqueror through Him Who loved me.  The Lord gives me a most glorious victory in any trial, whether tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger, or sword.  Nothing can separate me from His love, as He is sovereign over all as the Creator and Sustainer of all things.  "They [trials] have the effect of making us super conquerors because in those times of weakness we are infused with divine strength.  Those trials work to our greater good.  They work to our eternal glory." - John MacArthur, "The Challenges to Christian Invincibility".  (Romans 8:37)

24.  I am looking forward to a different world, whose architect and builder is God.  Rather than living for this world, I look forward to another world and lay up my treasures there, not here.  Rather than looking to this world for ultimate satisfaction, I look forward to another world that is uncontaminated by idolatry, misdirected ambitions, and other forms of sin.  To me, heaven is wonderful because God is there; I would not want to spend eternity in a wonderful place without Him.  "Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power; might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of." - Jonathan Edwards, "The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards".  (Matthew 6:20; Hebrews 11:10)

25.  I am growing in God's grace and knowledge, aiming to have a faith in Him that is both zealous and intelligent.  Far from a call to put rational thought on hold, God calls me to discover more of the truth about Himself that He has spent 66 books revealing.  In addition to commanding me to love Him with my heart, soul, and strength, Christ also exhorts me to love Him with my mind.  "God's gift of understanding is through thinking, not instead of thinking." - John Piper, God's Passion for His Glory.  (Luke 10:27; Philippians 1:9-11; Romans 12:11; 2 Peter 3:18)

26.  I am forgiven of much, and I must forgive much.  My sins, regardless of their presumed severity and impact upon others, helped make the death of Christ necessary for my salvation.  Even a wayward thought, which no one sees and no one knows that I have had, is a sin against a holy God if not taken captive outright.  Even the smallest misdeed, when set against the background of a great Savior's tremendous sacrifice for it, is something that screams out of my life, "I need a Savior!"  How can I then say that I have the right to not forgive another person's wrongs against me?  "But even if he is absolutely fully to blame we still have to forgive him; and even if ninety-nine percent of his apparent guilt can be explained away by really good excuses, the problem of forgiveness begins with the one percent of guilt which is left over.  To excuse what can really produce good excuses is not Christian character; it is only fairness.  To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." - C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory.  "No prayers can be heard which do not come from a forgiving heart." - J.C. Ryle.  (Luke 7:41-48; Colossians 3:13)

27.  I am rejoicing when I see my brothers standing firm in the Lord.  Though it needs to be self-focused in the sense that I need to watch myself regarding sin and spending time with and obeying the Lord, the focus of my faith does not stop with me.  Even when my walk with Christ shows little progress, seeing others' faith not waver, particularly as they endure trials, is an encouragement to my faith.  (1 Thessalonians 3:8)

28.  I am finding Christ in common with other believers, even when their other interests do not match mine.  Such friendships are possible because commonality in Christ takes precedence over all worldly interests.  Even when I cannot speak the same languages that they speak, our devotion to Christ marks us out; as many missionaries can attest, they can tell when they are in the presence of brothers and sisters in the Lord.  I am hopeful that God will make my godly fellowship with other believers possible on a more worldwide scale.  (1 Thessalonians 3:11)

29.  I am a Jew under the new covenant.  In the old covenant, Jews had to be Jews outwardly through circumcision.  The new covenant changed our understanding of how the law is fulfilled because Christ fulfilled the law.  Many Jews in the outward sense opposed Christ and His ministry.  The true circumcision is not of flesh but of heart.  "... Christ Himself is 'the seed' of Abraham (Galatians 3:16), so that being in Christ means being Abraham's 'seed', and, therefore, heirs of the promise (Galatians 3:29, 16). ... So knowing that we non-Jews are 'latecomers' to the covenant of Abraham and that we are nevertheless loved as full fellow-heirs should humble us and give us hope.  Humble hope in the Messiah, Jesus Christ, is the aim of all redemption.  For humility puts us in our lowly place of happy dependence, and hope puts God in His exalted place of glorious mercy." - John Piper, Taste and See.  (Romans 2:29)

30.  I am serving a perfect Master.  The world serves masters that will ultimately fail them: money, sex, power, pleasure in self, even family and goodwill.  These masters will fail them because the God over all, Who gave them life and breath and the ability to chase these things, will not allow them or anyone else to steal His glory.  He will be ultimately glorified in the end.  And no one can serve two masters.  He will hate one, even if it is something good that he is doing for the wrong reasons, and love the other.  Or he will hate the other and love the one.  "And I don't want to change on the so called spiritual level. I want to change in the inner chambers of my heart. That even His thoughts the deepest expression of who He is; it was his desire that they be according to the will of almighty God. The freest man on the face of the earth is the one who makes himself a slave to a perfect master. Where has God been wrong, and where has He wronged you? Has there ever been a time when listened to Him? When you obeyed Him, when you sought out His will that He has misled you somehow? "Never!" But have you ever followed your own ways and been mislead by your own devices? Always." - Paul Washer, "This Is War".  (Luke 16:13).

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This might be my last post before I go to the Philippines, depending on how much time I have to write on my upcoming trips.  In case I don't get to write again before or on Christmas, merry Christmas and happy New Year (maligayang Pasko, at manigong Bagong Taon!).

This trip is the first "vacation" I have ever prepared for by prayer and fasting.  I don't know whether to call it a vacation or a missions trip, or some of both.  My hosts and I will go do some fun stuff and sightseeing.  I also have a long Bible study prepared to present for the annual kickoff of my main host's Bible study group.  Last Friday, I did a test run of it for three other men in my Bible study who are also leaders in our church.  It was well-received, and their comments were helpful.  Lord willing, I will go verse-by-verse through a passage of 1 John and also look at Philemon.  I have a full verse-by-verse lesson on Philemon prepared too, but it does not align well with the topic of the study, so I will shorten it unless people want to hear the whole thing.  After I give the study lesson, I plan to post it here.  I'm sure I will also want to write about my trip.  So I don't know if the next post during or after the trip will be "Identities... Part 4" or something else. :-)

Lord willing, I will also see at least one of the children that I have sponsored there.  He is a college student, though he is taking some time off from that so that his parents can support putting one of his older brothers through college.  Please pray that I will minister well to everyone I get to meet in the Philippines, that I will live the gospel life before them and in private, that I will grow in the Lord and that I will set for them a good example of Christlike character and manhood.

"'I am going down into the pit; you hold the ropes', said Carey, the pioneer missionary. They that hold the ropes, and the daring miner that swings away down in the darkness, are one in work, may be one in the motive, and, if they are, shall be one in the reward. "

- Alexander MacLaren.

Identities of a Christian Pilgrim in a Fallen World, Part 1

"I give names in hope and prayer that my sons will become what their names imply. But God has the right and the power to cause anyone He names to become what the name implies. The names He gives are sure indicators of the destiny of those He names."

- John Piper, "I Am Who I Am".

"At the beginning of the 19th century, most obituaries made some mention of the character of the deceased. ... But by 1990 [a person's occupation] had become the key means by which a person was identified. This substitution of function for character is a unique mark of how the modern world now understands personhood."

- David F. Wells, God in the Wasteland; quoted in Tullian Tchividjian, Unfashionable.

"From now on, we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do it no longer."

- 2 Corinthians 5:16.

In my personal Bible studies over the past year or so, I have been asking myself, "What does the Bible say a Christian is? How can I express characteristics of all Christians in terms of 'I am [fill in the blank]' statements?" Originally setting out to find 100 "identities" in the New Testament, I have found over 150 in a search that has also spanned Psalms and Proverbs and called back to my mind other passages in the Old Testament.

I do not intend this to be an exhaustive list; and although my Reformed Baptist tendencies shine through in a few of the statements, I have tried to focus on and elaborate on areas where Biblical Christians from many denominations will find common ground. Some of these are not automatic "identities" but goals to work toward as a Christian. They are not organized by topic or passage, but only in the order that I thought of them. I'll continue to flesh these out and post these in many parts until the series is done, though I will probably take breaks during my upcoming trip to the Philippines and as I get ideas for more immediate writing.

1. I am a stranger in a strange land. Many people start to describe their identity based on the country of their birth. As a Christian, my identity properly begins with my standing in Christ. He transcends all boundaries built by man. Man's countries are strange places to me, since wherever I can go in this world, many people live as though God never gave them a law to obey. Ultimately, my citizenship is in heaven. And, unlike immigration processes in this world, my eternally permanent residency there will be certain. "Lord, I would not [want to] be a citizen where Jesus was an alien. ... My heart burns within me by the way when Thou dost speak to me. And though I be a sojourner, I am far more blessed than those who sit on thrones, and far more at home than those who dwell in their ceiled houses." - C.H. Spurgeon. (1 Peter 2:11; Philippians 3:20)

2. I am chosen for God since before time began. God has spent redemptive history gathering for Himself His elect - all those who repent of their sins and believe on Him alone for salvation. And He is not subject to their whims and fancies. He chose His sheep before the foundation of the world. He calls them; they hear His voice, and they come to Him. "Predestination we call the eternal decree of God, by which He has determined in Himself, what He would have to become of every individual of mankind. For they are not all created with a similar destiny; but eternal life is foreordained for some and eternal death for others. Every man, therefore, being created for one or the other of these ends, we say he is predestinated either to life or to death." - John Calvin. (Ephesians 1:4; John 10:27)

3. I am saved for the glory of God. He has chosen to glorify Himself by saving me by His grace, which I can testify in my life is completely unmerited favor. Yet He is glorified when He says that He can save an idolatrous wretch such as I. He operates for His own sake and has no reason to give His glory to anyone else. "God is the one Being in all the universe for whom seeking His own praise is the ultimately loving act. For Him, self-exaltation is the highest virtue. When He does all things 'for the praise of His glory' as Ephesians 1 says, He preserves for us and offers to us the only thing in all the world which can satisfy our longings." - John Piper, "Is God for Us or for Himself?". (Isaiah 48:11; Ephesians 1:11-14).

4. I am given a specific mission on this earth: to make God's name great in every area of my life. This includes both obvious spiritual activities, such as prayer and worship, and the common things of everyday life, such as work and leisure time. God, by His sovereign design, made the common tasks of life and work necessary. We ought not to regard these as barriers to ministry or other more preferable activities. "God is pursued as I play with my son and we talk. / As we play hide and seek, God is seeing my heart. / There's no separation in places where He wants worship. / From my church to my work, God calls me to service. / So I serve Him." - Dillon Chase, "The Pursuit". (1 Corinthians 10:31)

5. I am passing through this world, not here forever. Human bodies aging over time and dying only prove that God has created our earthly bodies as temporal and mortal. The fact that God has allowed us to be aliens in strangers in a world where Biblical Christianity is not popular merely reinforces that we do not have a home on this planet. Instead, we look forward to the eternal "home of righteousness". "Heaven is not here; it's There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for." - Elisabeth Elliot. (Romans 6:12; 2 Peter 2:13)

6. I am a slave to Christ, not sin. Rather than continuing to worship and serve the creatures of God as I once did, I am driven to obey Christ, the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of His being, Who sustains all things by His powerful word and is sure to sustain me as He sees fit. His commands on me are not burdensome, and obeying them brings me greater joy. Shunning anything of this world that causes me to see Him as less wonderful is not legalism to me, because it ultimately causes me to see Christ as more beautiful and satisfying. "If Christ has died for me, ungodly as I am, without strength as I am, then I cannot live in sin any longer. I must arouse myself to love and serve Him who has redeemed me. I cannot trifle with the evil that killed my best Friend. I must be holy for His sake. How can I live in sin when He has died to save me from it?" - C.H. Spurgeon. "And like a bondslave, you have no will of your own. / Just follow the will of God until you kneel at the throne." - 116 Clique, "It's Yours". (Romans 1:25; Romans 7:25; Hebrews 1:3; 1 John 5:3)

7. I am gazing at the Serpent on a pole. The ancient Israelites had to look at a bronze snake to be saved from the snakes that were killing them. The Son of Man was lifted up on a cross - dying the most offensive kind of death, given at that time only to criminal, non-Roman citizens. There, He died to save me. "Fix your eyes on the cross. And never get beyond it." - Arturo Azurdia, "Cross Eyed Life". "You will need nothing to build strange fires in your oven, if you only catch a glimpse of what He did on that tree." - Paul Washer, "Ten Indictments against the Modern Church in America". (Numbers 21:4-9; John 3)

8. I am continually broken so that God may empty me of myself, conform me to His image, and fill me with Himself. Although unbelievers may also find themselves broken as they go through the struggles of life, they do not experience trials to grow them in their faith because God has not given them repentance and faith. "Just as water ever seeks and fills the lowest place, so the moment God finds you abased and empty, His glory and power flow in." - Andrew Murray. (Romans 8:29)

9. I am pursued by God. I began my life in this world as a lost person - like a lost sheep. I had, possibly, some remembrance of who the Shepherd was, but I did not know where I was supposed to be, how to get there, or where the Shepherd was. He had to leave the ninety-nine found sheep and find me. The ninety-nine found displayed an outward religious veneer that showed themselves as perfect, with no need for a Savior. Yet Jesus found me in my sin - in my great need for turning from that sin and trusting wholly in Him alone - and He granted me repentance and faith and saved me. "He continues his care of the sheep that did not go astray; they are safe in the wilderness. But there is a particular care to be taken of this lost sheep; and though he has a hundred sheep, a considerable flock, yet he will not lose that one, but he goes after it, and shows abundance of care, in finding it out. He follows it, enquiring after it, and looking about for it, until he finds it. God follows backsliding sinners with the calls of his word and the strivings of his Spirit, until at length they are wrought upon to think of returning. ... There is a world of holy angels that are as the ninety-nine sheep, a noble flock; yet God sends his Son to seek and save that which was lost." - Matthew Henry. (Luke 15:7; Acts 11:18; 2 Timothy 2:25)

10. I am a pursuer of God. Called to flee the evil desires that I have known since birth, I must shun this world's natural passions and instead pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace - characteristics of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Much of this life pursuing God must be a hidden life. "See what a hidden life the life of a good Christian is and how much of it is concealed from the eye and the observation of the world. The most important part of the business lies between God and our own souls, in the frame of our spirits and the workings of our hearts, in our actions that no eye sees except the all-seeing God." - Matthew Henry, Experiencing God's Presence. (Psalm 83:3; 2 Timothy 2:22).

"We need to keep theological thugs like you off the street."

As I have mentioned in some earlier posts, I finished switching churches a little more than a year ago. Since then, I have only had occasional contact with friends from my old church. One guy in particular became fast friends with me when he first started going there, when he had not really found his niche there yet. We have a similar educational background, do similar work, and have a similar interest in Reformed doctrine. Meeting him in a church that was pretty close to Arminian (believing only the P of TULIP) was a bit of a shock. When I met him, I was still a cage-stage Calvinist that went to Bible study each week with a long list of quotes from Reformed sermons that I had written down at work. The sermon quotes genuinely helped other members of the group, though others who took a less intellectual approach to Christianity probably felt beat up by some of them

We got back in touch a couple weeks ago for the first time since Next, when he wanted to show me the new place he is renting in preparation for his wedding next month. When he asked what was new, I told him that I was doing pretty well, working hard, and keeping busy serving in my church. And his reply started with this:

"Glad to hear you're keeping busy. Its best we keep theological thugs like you off the street, lol. :)"

Several weeks later, I'm still thinking about this. "Theological thug"? Wow. Is this really the legacy that I left at my old church when I left it?

This assessment is fair any way you look at it. When I was still going to two churches, I was learning a good deal about how to love the brethren. Yet I applied that love conditionally, toward people with a similar interest in theology. I am still doing that, to some extent. I don't enjoy pointless hanging out, talking about nothing, for hours on end. So my love becomes conditional and I become indifferent toward anyone who was not "last seen swimming in a sea of old books with Paul Washer blasting through his earbuds".

The word "thug" is interestingly applied. I'm not a thug in the conventional sense. I look like a yuppie, minus the Starbucks, plus a smoothie. I neither have nor want tattoos or piercings. I've never been in trouble with the law of the land, despite my paranoid nature around speed cameras. In short, some people might call me a model son for a white homeschooling Christian family in a lot of ways - minus, of course, that I graduated from a secular university. People might be surprised to find out that I spent a year as a pseudo-goth in high school and have a current affinity for Christian hip-hop.

When Jesus warns that few actually find the way to eternal life (Matthew 7:14), He is talking to a group of religious people that believe they are saved. It is worth it to keep this in mind. When armchair theologians engage in their version of thuggery, they often do so with no love at all. Pharisees had no love for those who did not reach their level of perceived holiness. Theological thugs of our day are often the same way. They only see love this way:

"And this is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, that you should walk in it." (2 John 1:6)

Without context, you can barely tell what the commandment is. If you are a theological thug, what do you do with texts like these?

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." (1 John 4:7)

"If someone says, 'I love God', and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:20)

And it all goes back to these:

"And a lawyer stood up and put Him to the test, saying, 'Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?' And He said to him, 'What is written in the law? How does it read to you?' And he answered, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.' And He said to him, 'You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.' But wishing to justify himself, he said to Jesus, 'And who is my neighbor?'" (Luke 10:25-29).

Here, Jesus affirms the whole point of the law in loving God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind, and in loving your neighbor as yourself. The lawyer realizes that he can't justify himself according to this. When have I ever loved the Lord my God with all my heart, all my soul, all my strength, and all my mind? At best, it is an imperfect passion. When have I ever loved my neighbor as myself? At best, my love for others is inconsistent. Even if I could master this over a lifetime, what about all of my frequent smaller-looking failings where I still acted in my own self-interests rather than in God's interests or the interests of others? What about the years of my life when I lived, not even knowing about this commandment from the law? God's standard still applies to me even when I was ignorant about it. I cannot trust myself for my own salvation!

"In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loves us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:10)

You did not start by loving God. If you only love God's commandments and your own ability to keep them, your love is really for your own ability to get everything right. If you really love God, you will love what He loves - and who. You will not only hate outward sins that plague "the world", but the inward sins of your own heart that affect you deeply every day.

The tenses of "love" in this verse are interesting. Other translations might not capture it as well. "We loved God" - I can't tell which past tense this is in the Greek (I don't know Greek), but does this mean "one time", as in, "We never even once loved God"? "He loves us" - this is ongoing. Never failing. Eternal. Perfect love. He never fails to keep us sustained within this love that always protects us, always perseveres, and always ensures our full salvation from the wrath that we deserve to experience for all of eternity.

"His Son" - the object of the Father's love since eternity past and for eternity future. God's love is eternal because He did not have to create anything to make Himself a loving being. He has existed in three persons since before creation: eternally loving, eternally just, eternally all-powerful, eternally all-knowing, and eternally worthy of all praise and adoration. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit have had a perfect love for each other for all of time. The only time the Father did not see the Son as perfectly worthy of His love was on the cross, when He saw Him as a sinner who was taking on the sin of everyone for whom He died. God does not need us to love Him (imperfectly) or worship Him (imperfectly) for Him to feel perfectly worshiped.

"propitiation for our sins" - Of everyone who has ever lived in a human body, only Christ is sinless. Only Christ lived the perfect life that we could not live and died the perfect death that we could not die. Therefore, only Christ could atone for our many sins against God. Only Christ could satisfy His Father's righteous, just anger against our sins against Him - including the idolatry of wanting to know everything we can theologically with the improper motive of lording it over others and condemning them for not wanting to have that knowledge or seeing side issues differently than we do.

"Did you know that hell is of infinite duration? The primary reason is because every sin you commit is committed against an infinitely worthy and good God. ...

"David sinned against his people. David committed adultery with a woman. David murdered a man, but in the end he said this:

"'Against Thee, Thee only, have I sinned.'

"Why is sin so terrible? Because it is committed against God. Why don't we tremble? We don't know what that means. And why don't we know what that means? Because we do not know who God is. Such a glorious and blessed being!"

- Paul Washer.

Do we even see the sinfulness of theological thuggery - as sinful as any other sin against a holy, just, and merciful God? I'm not saying this about orthodoxy in and of itself, but of orthodoxy for the sake of being proud about it. We need to check ourselves against it and know what it means to be broken over it - not only so that our legacy with others will not involve "he was all law, without grace" or "he was all doctrine, without love", but because sin against the God who loves perfectly runs so much deeper than that. It is more than just an unbalanced application of Scripture. It is actually sin that God hates as much as He hates adultery and murder.

"Please hear my heart, like a stethoscope.

We're taking steps toward death, but looking for hope.

Because we were captured by sin.

We were seized. Now we need to be captured again.

That's why we need to pick them Scriptures up,

Start praying and fasting, and ask the Father to forgive us of -

Forgive us for laziness, forgive us Lord for our pride.

Forgive us for worldliness. Forgive us, cleanse us inside. ...

We confess our lack of love. We confess selfish ambition. ...

O Lord, bring us to repentance!"

- Flame.

Recent Meditations: What I Have Been Reading and Listening To

A few things have happened in my life recently. Two weekends ago, I finally finished reading Future Grace by John Piper and started reading The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott. Future Grace was an amazing read, and I have now lent it to another young man in my small group. The main point in it that has applied to me this year was that, although thoughts of depression are common in the Christian life, allowing them to stay there and sink into a state of despondency is a sin that I must make war against. Christ made war against despondency as He prayed in the garden of Gethsemane while His disciples slept. Charles Spurgeon, the Prince of Preachers, likewise made war against despondency as depression came up very frequently in his Christian life.

Obeying this exhortation to make war against despondency brought me to conviction about the music that I was listening to. On this blog I have occasionally made much of my collection of gospel rap and worship music, but I also listened to a lot of secular metal, industrial music, and depressing rock music that all contained lyrics that, while not objectionable on the surface, fostered depressed and discontent attitudes in me that allowed me to remain in despair and unbelief in the goodness and faithfulness of God. The day that I finished Future Grace, I deleted over 900 songs from my iPod. (Please note: I did not do this as a legalistic statement against listening to secular music. I am not going to legislate that my fellow Christians must do the same thing or else they are not holy. In fact, I did not delete all of my secular music, only that which caused me to sin. I still have a great deal of mostly instrumental trance music, worldbeat music, and other secular music that does not cause me to sin.)

Some would question my decision to read books like The Exemplary Husband. I am not married and not courting anyone. However, the obligations of Biblical manhood that can apply to single men still apply to me. And it is actually refreshing to me to read a book about marriage that does not rely on worldly wisdom. I first heard of this book because Brother Paul Washer has mentioned it in numerous sermons about the family. And I realize that husbands will find this book convicting in different ways than I will, but it is convicting even to me as I consider whether and how I live too casually with respect to the gravity of God's glory.

Last Sunday, my church also voted on its first deacons. I was chosen along with six others, and several more people were nominated for deacon and elder roles. For now, I am one of the two youngest deacons and the only one who is not married or engaged. The roles of deacons in my church are to serve the church, serve as a point of contact for ministries (as a go-between for our pastor/elders and those in charge of ministries, for accountability), and provide Biblical counseling for families in the church. Please pray that all of us as well as our pastor and elders will serve God and the body of Christ for His glory and not our own, in a way that God will find us faithful to Him and His Word.

My church was also quite blessed to collaborate with several other churches around our region yesterday for a quarterly Olympic Games "in-reach". It was encouraging to see several brothers from other churches for the first time in several months and discuss ministry, studies, and our walk with Christ. One of my friends told me that his brother has gone back overseas to study in Bible college, to prepare for a life of missions in a closed country, with the understanding that he will probably lose his life for the gospel there. I have never met this young man but sense a strong desire to fast and pray for him - not to avoid danger for the gospel but to suffer well for Christ when it comes.

Sometimes, it just helps to reflect on words that others have written, sung, and spoken. These are some lyrics in songs that have done a great deal to edify me recently.

"Man all I ever wanted was to be labeled the greatest,

Cassius Clay on spittin' rhymes while rockin' the lastest.

But that crept into my life in Christ. It was evident

As I debated how I was better than the rest of them. [So guilty here!!]

Works-based righteousness: based my worth on some type of list and

If I keep it or not, perfected every night since this.

Now, I'm looking for approval, and I'm selfish,

So all I want to do is try to outdo you!

Silent when you ask me. Later, I'm bragging like a fool.

Far from His image and couldn't see it. Where is the Zoom?

This is grace in my moment of reproof. That helps me see the truth.

Just how I sound, no AutoTune.

And in this life, the last will be first and the first is last.

And He's a servant to the end. We're certain of that.

That's what I heard: freedom from the curse.

Livin' to a hearse, but the latter doesn't matter when you're in reverse."

- Tedashii, "Reverse".

"I found myself in You,

Believing in Your promises. Nothing else is true.

It's all fleeting, gone any minute.

I stand on Christ, the Solid Rock, until Your work is finished.

You could have came as a conquering King,

who knocked dead His opponents, one, two, three.

But You came as a Babe, so meek,

Lived a perfect life and died for me.

Any response would bring glory to Your name.

Holy is the Most High. We live to spread Your fame.

Yes, You're the King that the prophets spoke about,

that the Father was pleased to crush. You took our sins out!

I'll never know how much it really cost when You stretched out Your arms and took up my cross.

I was blind, but now I see right.

You give sight.

You're the Way, the Truth, the Life.

"Man, I wasn't even looking.

I didn't even know how lost I was.

But now the mystery's revealed.
My chance [?] is what it took Him,

but by the Lord's grace, now I'm bought by blood,

because the mystery's revealed."

- Dillon Chase feat. Tre Marquis, "Mystery Revealed".

"All for me, why? No, we don't deserve Your grace.

We deserve the place after death burning under graves.

That's why we praise, 'cause we've been saved from the flames.

Enslaved by Your ways, it's You I try to imitate.

'Daddy, Daddy' - that's what I call You now.

Entrusted like loving vows, stuffing Your word in my mouth,

Chew it up and breathe it out. We love You and scream it loud.

Lord, crush all of our doubts. I stand in awe of You - wow! ...

"I'm in awe of You. And what's amazing is I haven't seen all of You. ...
There is no English word that can describe Your glory.

Though I'm a mess with filthy rags, You didn't ignore me.

You sought covenant with me despite my story,

In fact, You pursued me like Hawks hunt Corey. [?]

I made so many mistakes,

But You sent Jesus so my sins would be replaced.

There are times where I felt that You should've [taken] my life

Or embarrassed me. But instead, Your love took flight.

In fact, in every hard time You've always came to the rescue.

Right on time, and I was never left to

Do it on my own. That's why I stand in awe,

Because You're the greatest one that I ever saw."

- Colt feat. K-Drama, "In Awe of You".

My Trip Report from Next 2011: Part 1

Having a church camp and the Next Conference on back-to-back weekends is, to say the least, a great spiritual high. This year I was pleased to attend Next with three other young men who I knew from Bible studies at my previous church. The theme of Next this year dealt with God's sovereignty over all things and how that should influence our worldview and our work here on earth. The books that they sold at the conference this year all centered on that focus. Having a long reading list for right now and trying to concentrate on finishing Future Grace by John Piper and Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray, I decided to only buy one: The Heavens: Intimate Moments with Your Majestic God by Kevin Hartnett. So far, that book has been a blessing as it helps me to consider the vastness and beauty of the universe and how it reflects the beauty of the God who made and is sovereign over it all.

I felt like I had stepped back in time several years when the speakers addressed postmodernism. My previous church, which I attended for about 22 years, has tended to embrace evangelical fads throughout its ministry. When this means a change in worship style, they change their worship style. When it means catering to a particular audience, they cater to that audience. Their pastors quote teachers from many areas of the evangelical map, from Reformed theologians to moralistic therapeutic deists. Several years ago they became emergent-friendly, quoting Rob Bell and others from that movement. (This was before he wrote Love Wins and came out of the universalist closet.) Around the same time, I read Why We're Not Emergent by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck to become more educated about the movement and why I wasn't part of it either. I was only then starting to become Reformed and was still a cage-stage Calvinist. I was also reading the Pyromaniacs blog several times a week, where they often discussed postmodernism and "emerg*". But my current church, which has many international members from the Philippines, has to deal with different issues than postmodernism and the emerging church. Those issues don't have as strong of a hold in the Philippines. Our pastor preaches against Ang Dating Daan, Iglesia ni Cristo, the prosperity teaching of Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer, and so on. So I felt like I had taken a step back to 2008. Are postmodernism and the emerging church still big problems across the wider scale of evangelicalism?

Since Next had five general sessions, three breakouts, and the Next conference website has most of the messages, I won't repeat too much of what was said on my blog, but just give thoughts about my general experience going to the conference and list what struck me the most from the sessions.

Before the conference started, I was reading my Bible and jotted down Hebews 12:4-6: "In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by Him. For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives." I was still thinking about this in the context of my courtship. Ending my courtship in early March, I thought of Next as the big Reset button on my life that would save me from the memories and the sadness and let me get on with life. It was only on the way there that I realized that it could be discipline from the Lord. So I also wrote down a line from DJ Official's song "Chisel Me": "If you love me, Lord, then chasten me."

We were privileged to have a brother in the Lord drive us to the hotel. He only had a few short minutes with us and sought to really maximize that and encourage us in our faith. We will probably never see him again in this lifetime, but we knew that we had a brother in Christ there with a strong appetite for Scripture and a strong desire to encourage others with it. He got the four of us going on justification and the gospel. That really set the tone for us to glorify God at this conference.

Pastor Jeff Purswell spoke in the first session about how God will not relinquish His creation to evil. His first point was "The created world, though affected by sin, is nevertheless God's creation and is to be valued, appreciated, and cared for." I had become somewhat put off by environmentalists in the secular world, figuring, "I don't do anything that intentionally damages the created order, so I'm good. Why do you continue talking about this so much?" A biblical worldview does not merely acknowledge the existence of created reality, but joins God in affirming it as good as He did when He created it. When I put down my various kinds of entertainment to go on a hike in the woods, meditate on the beauty of God's creation there, and exalt Christ as more beautiful, that is a way of celebrating the most basic distinction in the universe, the one between Creator and creature. Without it, I would worship nature.

Pastor Purswell also mentioned that everything created by God is good, not amoral, as long as we receive it with thanksgiving and do not worship or exploit it. He applied this more specifically to our vocations. So do I thank God for my work as something good, not just something to give me money or keep me out of trouble? Do I still act like the work that I am given is a good thing when it does not go well, or do I curse in reaction to Adam's curse? How do I display the character of God as I work?

In session 2, Dr. K. Scott Oliphint spoke on "The Role of Reason in the Life of Faith" from Romans 1:18-32. If you follow the Next Conference on Twitter, you may have seen a quote from this session: "Western philosophy is simply articulate unbelief." Hegel and other philosophers like him have spent their lives attempting to explain, in all kinds of intelligent-sounding language, how there is "an absolute" but denying that God is that absolute.

Two other things also stood out to me from this session. First, everyone has a relationship with God. For unbelievers, this relationship is not saving knowledge. They will still relate to God on judgment day when they attempt to give Him a defense for their unbelief and He sends them to hell. No one can tell Him, "Not enough evidence", because His revelation of Himself through creation does not return void. Second, the words "worshiped" and "served" the creature rather than the Creator are very strong words and reflect how we are all creatures who must worship. Suppressing the truth forces people to create idols to worship and serve. In our culture, this rarely looks like an idol that people literally bow down to. Dr. Oliphint gave the example of addictions as a choice to serve something other than God, effectively saying, "I will pick my idol. This I will worship... because no one who is created in the image of God will worship nothing." Worshiping the true God, however, allows us to revel in the fact that we cannot figure Him out!

I attended Pastor Kevin DeYoung's breakout session titled "Jesus and Other Religions". This was my second time to see him speak. He summarized Christianity as believing in one God, two ontological realities, and three Persons. He contrasted "one God" with Buddhism, which seems to not believe in any God at all, and Hinduism, which believes in many gods. Most other religions are "one-ism", saying that man is at one with nature, but Christianity is distinctly "two-ism". He gave 7 reasons for the Trinity which are all in Scripture: there is one God; the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are all God; the Father is not the Son; the Son is not the Holy Spirit; and the Holy Spirit is not the Father. I look at this as a concise way to defend those who do not believe that the Christian God is a Trinity. The other thing he said that struck me was that without a Trinity, love is not eternal, because if God were only one Person He would not have been able to express love to anyone before He created the world. This reminded me of the first chapters of The Pleasures of God.

He gave the practical application for the uniqueness of Christ:

1. The well-being and salvation of the lost is at stake; go where Christ has not been named, out of love for the lost (broken heart, not a clenched fist) (Romans 10:14). (And my parents, who are not Reformed, say that Reformed people are against missions and evangelism!)

2. The courage and joy of our missionaries. The uniqueness of Christ shows that their work is not in vain.

3. The health of your soul is at stake. It is never good to see what God's word says and find out a way to disbelieve it.

4. The glory of Jesus is at stake. "A Jesus of 'a way' is a Jesus of lesser glory."

During the session break, I worked out to some gospel rap from my Canon playlist: his features "Refocus" with Brothatone, "116 Canon Remix" with Pro, and "Blow Your High" with Lecrae, among others.

Dr. D.A. Carson gave a message called "The Gospel and the Postmodern Mind" in session 3. He began by stating, "Postmodernism is dead in some pretty fundamental ways", because postmodernism started in France and the French no longer buy into it. One thing he said that struck me was that when you talk about the gospel, you are not writing on a blank hard drive. When the Apostle Paul preached in Acts 17, he was preaching to pagan Biblical illiterates (like many in today's culture) and starting from their angle, discussing Christianity in terms of philosophy. He was cut off while he preached but continued taking questions about the gospel in the marketplace. He highlighted many important doctrines about God in his message in Acts 17. For brevity, I won't include it here, but please take time to listen to this session. One more point that struck me in the application was that good theology is like a well-oiled machine. If you take anything out to make it sound better, it falls out of line until the machine stops.

Later that night, I listened to a short message from Brother Paul Washer called "A Young Man's Invitation to a Life of Sacrifice." This message is only 10 minutes but deserves its own post. Young men and women, please listen to this one. Brother Washer does not go on the attack, necessarily, against people who speak at conferences but challenges us to do missions on the front lines where we won't be famous, but Christ has not been named there. We shouldn't be writing blogs where we discuss fine points of theology that we know nothing about when there are people out there. "Young man, go somewhere and die, where only God and hell will know your name - God because He loves you and His Spirit is powerful upon you, and hell because hell hates you." Oh, that I could go. I want to at least take one trip. Listening to this highlighted the tension in my life about whether I should continue attempting to glorify God in a secular job here or leave it all and go to the Philippines. I am speechless even now about what I should continue to write at this point.

But this post is getting quite long, so I will write about the rest of the conference next week, Lord willing.

Retreat Reflections: 2.

After we arrived back at church that Sunday, we had the Session 4 message during our regular church service with the rest of the church present. This message hit me even harder than the others:

1. What justification is and is not. He discussed "counterfeit idols" as described by Tullian Tchividjian. A good summary of those "counterfeit gospels" is here. Most idols lurk and pervade in church:

- Formalism: church activity / "always in church" / judgmental / imposing your standards on everyone: This is what I grew up in. I spent a lot of time around church, especially in the summer because my mom is her church's longtime Vacation Bible School director. But most of the time I would rather be somewhere else, or I would need a distraction such as basketball to avoid being bothersome. But hey, I was always in church whenever the doors were open, even if I never listened to anything the pastor said because I was drawing pictures all the way through the sermons, even in high school and college.

- Legalism: living by rules you create for yourself and others; there is no joy in your life because there is no grace to be celebrated. I grew up imposing my moral standards on everybody and defining myself by my morality. For me, that typically looked like imposing Biblical standards on everybody. The way I looked for a wife during that period was particularly telling. In college I was trying to date a girl who was not a Christian, but that didn't matter much to me because, like me, she was still a virgin and I found that more important than even faith in Christ. I became broken about my recreational dating practices in 2007 because one of the girls offended me so deeply by drinking alcohol on one of our dates - never minding that it isn't actually a sin to drink, only to get drunk, and the main reason why I don't drink at all is family history with alcoholism. Yes, as this sermon said, a Pharisee is the kind of boy you would want to bring home for dinner.

- Mysticism: "Retreat junkie" - incessant pursuit of emotional experience with God; changes churches often. The first half of that describes where I am right now to a T. After I started attending my current church and saw people with their hands raised during worship and I started doing it too, first I was doing it because I felt closer to God when I did and my Christianity up to that point had almost never been emotional, only rational. Sometimes I am only after that spiritual high and not after real closeness to God, real memorization of and obedience to Scripture, and real rejection of sin. And I was almost tempted to switch churches when most of the other hand-raisers left my church due to its shift in emphasis toward sound doctrine and started going to a Charismatic church. Praise God for books like Why We Love the Church, which tell me to be a plodding visionary in a church that faithfully serves Him and gets rid of the temptation to seek the constant emotional high and what I want over taking responsibility to serve.

- Activism: Stands for what is right but doesn't pursue God. This describes quite a lot of the people that I know, including the ones who make 3/4ths of their posts on Facebook about gay marriage. This is an area where, I admit, I'm quite skewed in the other direction. Growing up in a formalist/activist environment, when I got out of that I only wanted to pursue God. But even though His kingdom is not of this world, He does not call me to stick my head in the sand and keep it there regarding the problems in the world either.

- Biblicism: I didn't have time to write down what he said for this one. But an Awana Citation Award in the next room which I earned years before I started listening to sound preaching says that I have roots in this.

- Therapism: Makes Jesus more therapist than Savior and sees hurt as worse than sin ("moralistic therapeutic deism"). I've been around this and felt, honestly, pretty turned off by it, maybe because I am a legalist at heart. But killing sin is very hard to say the least, and we don't always realize what a war it is. Some of my best weekends spiritually, I have listened and rapped along to Tedashii's "Make War" over and over again. But most people don't really want to fight sin as sin, and some sin is rooted in events that happened to them through no fault of their own. I can definitely see why this would be a draw to people.

- Socialism: The body of Christ has replaced Christ Himself. This is the other half of where I am right now with regards to what God has taught me about learning to love the church. At camps I spend very little time with God on my own. At the two church camps I barely read any Scripture except for right before the sessions to prepare myself for worship. I was more content with getting to know other people - a very good thing, but not the best. Sometimes, I just need to hit the trail alone for an afternoon. And thank God for the chance to do that - "wanting nothing in life but to just be with Him, as if nothing in this world could ever compete with Him" (116 Clique).

2. Augustine said that the root of all sin is disorderly love. "No other gods before Me" includes even cute ones and noble ones. Family can be an idol of our heart. A lot of people seek the church as a place to get glory for themselves because there is less competition. For example, people who are not talented enough to join a rock band may be able to join a praise band. Your children were not born for justifying your existence through your vicariously living through them. The worst result of self-justification is that your rob God of His glory.

3. Being a Christian means that you are a failure, but an honorable failure; a sinner, but a righteous sinner. "I need Christ to pay for all of the ways that I tried to justify my life." "At least I'm not a porn star" is not God's standard. When you are justified, you do not hate others.

Here are some things I learned at the young adults camp outside the sermons:

1. Activity can be an enemy of spiritual discipline. Brother Paul Washer actually said this, but I realized this experientially here. After the sermons, I felt led to pray for the other people at the camp, that the points of the sermons would really be driven home to them. However, our schedule was very fast-paced, which meant I had to continue to the next activity. I am not using this as an indictment against those who scheduled this camp, but against myself for forgetting about the need to pray for these people when I got back from the camp and resumed work the next day.

2. True Christian fellowship can result in very deep and lasting bonds between Christians forming over a very short period of time. One brother from the Philippines spent his vacation from law school (March through June there) in the US attending several conferences and serving in several churches around the country, including ours. He is a friend of my pastor from his 5 years as a missionary in the Philippines. He and I only had a few hours to interact during his trip, but our friendship was fast and deep. We were quite open with each other and have stayed in touch now that he is back in the Philippines. Yet what kind of love would drive someone to decide to fly around the world to help with a two-night camp? Only God could do such a thing. And I do have the resources to fly to the Philippines without needing to raise support. I want to fly there and see him again on this side of glory, for my joy and his joy in the glory of God, so that we would not waste our lives but serve Him more effectively on this earth. If we can encourage each other on the internet, how much more side-by-side? I've seen it!

3. There is value in play, even among adults. You learn to respect someone faster if he is bigger than you and you play tug-of-war with a tire against him! American football has nothing on this game; this is anarchy! And I cringed when I saw the tire at the next camp. In a camp with 44 guests plus leaders, it is impossible to quickly form a deep friendship with everyone. But the playing field does allow some level of relationship to be built.

4. I need to expect to sacrifice some of my "sacred" schedule for a camp. This was predominantly a college camp. I graduated from college several years ago and now work in a job that requires a good night's sleep every night. At this camp, we played Capture the Flag in the dark at midnight. Then at 7am we had a morning workout. In between times, one of my roommates played his violin until about 2 in the morning. During the second night, people played hide and seek in the lodge in the middle of the night and were running up and down the halls. I learned at the next camp that earplugs are great. :-)

5. Getting home from a camp is pretty hard because at a camp, other people do most of my spiritual feeding for me. Outside the sessions, I did not have time to read my Bible. So after getting home, I had to adjust to my normal routine of reading, working, and praying again.

Lessons Learned from My International Courtship, Part 2

9. My love for the Philippines is not tied to her. I still have a deep love for that country and its people! At nag-aaral pa ako sa wikang Tagalog... :-) More than ever, I want to take a missions trip there. In part, this courtship has helped me to define why I want to go and what work desperately needs to be done there. Their love for others is great, but their doctrine is shallow. I wish that they would learn our doctrine and we Americans could learn their love. Love is, in fact, a much greater sign that someone truly knows Christ than good doctrine; anyone can memorize. Although I am but a layman, I would love to go over there and teach young men about how to read Scripture in context and discern truth from error. Many preachers do not know how to do this, especially in the Third World. American Reformed Christians, we have an abundance of theological resources that we must use to reach the world and build up Christ's pan-national Bride!

10. My desire to go to the Philippines is now more about edifying specific brothers. After my church's young adult group's camp, I tweeted that one brother had made the trip from the Philippines to our church to help out with our camp. He was only here for a little while, but I grew close to him quickly. I honestly want to fly around the world just to see this brother and spend more time with him. And the original reason for wanting to go remains. I sponsor two children in the Philippines through Compassion and want to see them. There is only so much I can do for them when I am at a distance and only have small amounts of time to write. Even when I can't have intimacy with God very often, I still think about missions. Even when I am at work in my "secular" vocation, I think about missions. And what part of "go" don't I understand??

11. Loving the Bride of Christ is more important than finding love. When I met her, I had never been a member of a church and had barely any clue how to love the local church. I was also outside the will of God because the Holy Spirit had been prompting me for many years to be baptized and I didn't want to be. I was using this blog as a way to love the global body of Christ while not identifying myself with a local body. I signed my church's membership covenant last fall and took water baptism soon after. Since then, God has shown me more about what loving the church means, by putting me in a local church where no one looks like me and where the people my age are overwhelmingly male. If you think a young man should come to church to find a wife, you would say I probably went to the wrong church. But this church is a great place for me to serve.

12. Not delighting in God more than her during a courtship will result in idolatry. Not delighting in God more than her after a courtship ends will result in insanity and resentment toward Him. He is glorified, and I am properly happy in Him, when I delight in Him alone.

13. God can teach through the scars of self-inflicted wounds. I use this language to describe wounds of the heart; I have never cut myself, although I have recently found myself listening to emo! Although my friends initially looked at this courtship quite favorably, as we kept learning more and thinking about it more, we realized it really was not good. And I have realized that, as a man, this was all my fault.

14. Don't move too fast. Because she was only in the United States for 5 weeks, I felt like I had to be utterly convinced that she was right for me before she boarded her plane to return home. I felt like I had to spend every waking minute with her while she was here. This is infatuation, not love. Trying to do something like this will not allow you to look at the whole situation with your eyes open and determine which imperfections you are willing to accept. Everyone, aside from Christ, has them. Even as we follow Christ, we (especially in my generation) tend to find some aspects of Him that we do not want to follow. We want the crown, but not the cross. I want to worship Him, but I rarely want to evangelize; and some of my peers are the opposite.

15. Solitude with Christ is still precious, and I must fight for it to remain solitude with Christ. Before and during the courtship, solitude was a great luxury for me. I could spend whole days alone in the presence of the Lord. But during this season, when in solitude for extended periods, I have found myself thinking about her, about what might have been. And it has led me to resent God. I need time to just read and write and pray without distractions. Thoughts about her are crippling to my fellowship with Christ because they take my focus off of Christ, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross to bear the wrath of His Father for each of my sins - oh, to meditate on just that for days and to worship Him Who paid it all! He is worthy of all affection and adoration!

16. I must go on serving the Lord. We make much of God when we contribute to the work of the Bride of Christ on this earth. This does not only mean money; it also means using the spiritual gifts that He has given me to exhort and teach His followers. The work is still there even when I do not feel strong enough to do it. In fact, continuing to do it when my spiritual life is not going as well requires a greater trust in Him than it does when I feel strong. Who am I to ever call myself strong? I am weak by nature; I see something of this weakness every time I sin! The Lord calls the weak and the broken!

16. Even in despair, I must remain in gospel-driven community and keep that community gospel-driven. I need brothers in Christ to help me keep my focus on Him and not on myself. Sometimes I am discouraged by how little godly fellowship I actually get and how the people that I fellowship with tend to center it on things other than God or just talk about problems they see in the church. And hanging out talking about nothing only masks problems rather than solving them with more of Christ. I don't want to dwell on problems in the church, because she is the bride of Christ and Christ does not see His bride as unfaithful. Sometimes during this season, I really have not desired God. But He is still God. He is still my Lord and my Master. He still has a hold on me, even when I don't like that. He disciplines and chisels those who are really His. And the chisel only gets stronger until we meet Him in glory.

17. I should never boast to anyone about my love for Christ. Last year, I was listening to a sermon by Paul Washer where he mentioned that he finds it hard to sing about his love for Christ because it pales in comparison to Christ's love for Him. During this season, I have learned this more deeply and experientially. Christ died for my resentment of Him regarding her and having to give her up as part of the cost of following Him.

Selfish Ambition and the Lord's Work

"I used to want to do it big.
When you're only focused on yourself, that's small.
And they - they used to tell me as a kid,
that I could do anything that I want except fall.

"And now that I recall, I was chasing my goals.
And every time I caught them, they multiplied into more.
I never even thought about whether the Lord approved.
Call it selfish ambition; I call[ed] it, 'I'm making moves.'

"But history repeats itself. Evil's what it is.
'Cause Lucifer was cast away for doing what I did.
Created by the God who spoke the earth into existence,
instead of chasing the Father's glory, he was chasing his.

"He lies to us all - told Adam he could ball,
'Why [are] you following God when you can go get it all?'
I'll tell you what's better, or better yet worse:
Chasing your own glory by doing the Lord's work.

"So holler if it hurts. But we were made for greater.
Our greatest satisfaction is making His name famous.
So if we're never named among the greatest [or] they don't critically acclaim us,
[That's] nothing to be ashamed of. We gave it up for the Savior.

"And you can have the money. And you can have the fame.
For me, I want the glory. I'm living for the Name.
See, life is just a picture. I see outside the frame.
I'm living for a kingdom that I [have] never seen.
And I'm [going to] chase that. ..."

- Lecrae, "Chase That (Ambition)"

-----

"We must resist the pride that may spring forth from fruitfulness.

"You know, some progress in the Christian life can also be dangerous. That is why God does not allow us sometimes to experience all the progress that we had hoped for because it would turn and work against us in pride, because we are too immature to really be used to bear such fruit.

"Listen to this in 1 Corinthians 4:7. 'For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?'

"He is talking to a very, very gifted Church, manifestations of the Holy Spirit works in all sorts of things and he is saying, 'Now, hold on here. You have got this all backwards. You have fallen the way of Ephraim. You have not realized that all your fruit, all your gifts, all your abilities, all your knowledge, all your everything comes from Christ.'

"And if it comes from Christ then why do you, how can you boast in anyone, but Christ? Christ alone, he is the true vine."

- Paul Washer, "The Vine and the Branches".

Adorned

Envision the seraph:
A "burning one", unequaled in creation.
A "singing one" in constant worship celebration.
Yet to be praised has never been his concentration.
He will instead ascribe all glory to the God of every nation.

A perfect being, yet its perfections can't outdo
its God's, so worshiping a seraph is taboo.
Four of their wings hid their faces and feet from view,
Lest they be impure. They fly with the other two.

Do not think that in their presence you can be a passerby.
Isaiah himself cried out, "Undone am I!"
Supernaturally strengthened just so that he would not die?
He had to be when he saw the Lord nigh.

Consider their God:
There is one God in three Persons - with no brothers.
Not white, black, or Latin - this God checks "other".
But don't fit Him in our boxes. He has no mother.
And at His creations, we stare in wonder.

From the setting sun to the rising tide,
From the highest peaks to the lands' divide,
From the Challenger Deep to the deepest sky,
Creation spreads the fame of the Lord on high.

Now face down, I am entranced with the thought
That this God would call me holy like his priceless, sinless Son.
And more than a servant, He has made me one
co-heir with Christ, rejoicing in what He has done.

Examine the bride:
The world calls her a dirty girl in a dirty dress,
Full of sins not confessed and problems to address.
Many do not even call her a damsel in distress,
And concentrate only on her failures to impress.

The law is extensive. Even to focus on ten,
We would still break each commandment given then.
Liars, lusters, rebels - from each infant to each man
Whether living in Cannes, Iran, or Japan.

On that final day, we cannot point to house or lands,
Only to our Scapegoat who fulfilled the law's demands.
We could never walk next to Him along the ocean sands.
Each second, He carried us in His holy, nail-pierced hands.

And we make much of the Bridegroom:
The King of Glory, eternally co-existing with His Father,
Three in one with the Spirit in perfect pleasure. Why bother
To walk terra firma as a mortal man?
How could Judah's Lion on this mortal coil stand?

The Author of the law gave Him as sufficient grace.
This upholder of stars, planets, and interstellar space
Laid aside His glory to take on a fleshly case
And cast off our sins as far as east from west - erased.

He has named us sons and daughters of His own
And His perfect rule will never be overthrown.
Even as we think of sonship, are there tears,
Especially when our misdeeds large appear?
In this world, until we claim the shining Prize,
Realize that our joy comes through mournful eyes.

When You died there were stripes from a whip and thorns
Composed Your crown as You submitted to this storm
Of wrath for sin - our failures to conform.
Yet there, our lengthy process to transform
To future glory will be done - no more lukewarm.
We will see why You, Lord, suffered in this form:
Diamonds shine as coal compared to how Your bride will be adorned.

Each jewel of her necklace shines brighter than dawn.
Pure are her ways now. To her Savior she's drawn.
Joy on her face replaces her shame woebegone.
Once acting like Hester, she walks in like Esther,
Perfectly arrayed, with each scarlet letter gone!

What is it like to always live in the third heaven
with the Prince of Peace and no need for the weapons
of this war to kill sin, since temptation will die
and we will more clearly see the Christ's glorious eyes?

[This was inspired partially by Paul Washer's sessions on The Son's Glory (first session here) and a tweet by John Piper. I am also tweeting now.]