A Shakespearean Sonnet on Physical and Spiritual Healing

I have written at least a few dozen poems in my life, starting with dozens of mostly non-rhyming dark poems that I used as lyrics to metal songs that I used to improvise in high school and college. After beginning this blog, I rediscovered my love for writing poetry as I wrote the introductory post for "Godly Fellowship", the "Adorned" / "Abhorred" / "A Sword" / "Adored" (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4) series, and other pieces. In these, I gained a greater appreciation for the craft of poetry, as I sought to not merely rhyme at the end of a line, but also have some sense of correct meter and syllable counts, and do some creative internal rhymes. (Side note: The lowercase MC, shai linne, is a master at this! :-) )

Recently, motivated by the sonnets of Dr. D. A. Carson, I made my first attempt at writing a Shakespearean sonnet and came to appreciate some of the great precision that sonneteers must have as they work, as they fit every line into iambic pentameter (blank verse) and keep a consistent rhyme scheme over 14 lines.

I started this sonnet basing it off of my pastor's ongoing series in the book of Mark, when many people approached Christ for various forms of physical healing and would not stop to allow Him to rest. Yet most of them only wanted physical healing and did not realize (or did not find important) that without the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit in their lives, they would shout, "Crucify Him!", with the rest of the masses less than three years later - and that death would not be applied toward their particular redemption. They would be physically healed, but go to hell - still in their sins, unredeemed, lost.

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Distressed by ills, the town stopped work to throng

Around my Lord, demanding all His time,

So that one touch would render lame men strong;

Then most retreated to their sinful grime.

I also have petitioned Him to heal

A different ailment, one within my heart,

That worships idols and tries to appeal

To my own hands to catch a flaming dart,

And stay unscathed despite the fervent heat.

The rival sees my hands of burning clay,

He gloats and mocks the mere man he just beat:

"You failure! Keep your hands unraised today."

Despite my prideful words, the Savior's face

Makes prideful Serpent flee: "He's bought by grace."

This Entertaining Truth, Part 5: Having Great Theology Does Not Equal Repentance And Belief.

I mentioned in a recent post that I visited a Biblical megachurch for their Easter Sunday service this year. The church had a baptism for three people that morning. In at least one of the testimonies, I saw a theme that seems common in youth who grow up in Biblical churches: Kid grows up attending Biblical church with parents. Kid gets old enough to make their own decisions, falls into a sinful lifestyle, leaves the church, gets into all sorts of trouble. At some point, kid hits rock bottom and God saves them, and kid returns to the church they grew up in - but this time, as a true believer.

Reformed churches tend to stress catechizing children - doing this, not with the guarantee of "this will save them", but in hopes that through diligent plowing, the truth will take root in their hearts and they will be genuinely saved. This is a great thing. But it often backfires as God shows us that we are not saved by our own effort or the effort of our parents - "born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God" (John 1:13, ESV). Parents can be raising the "perfect" children, discipling them well at home, having them sit under the preaching of a modern-day Spurgeon Sunday after Sunday, training them like Pavlov's dog to come up with the right answers to every theological question whenever you ask, and have them not really know Jesus Christ. And as they sit under true Biblical preaching week after week, they will search for more and more loopholes around that truth. And if they are listening to a preacher who knows how to close all of those loopholes, they will learn to appease their parents by continuing to hear it while, all the while, deeply hating that truth in their hearts and seeking every possible way to rebel against it.

I grew up as one of those kids who would fire off a whole chapter of Awana sections every week. As a wee lad, I was good at word-for-word memorization. I would finish my books with half a school year left to spare, then complete Scripture memory packets and, at least once, started memorizing a whole book of the Bible. I was the Awana leaders' dream, but I couldn't say much about what the verses actually meant. I wasn't much of a Christian - if I was even one at all at the time. "Repent" was just a word that sounded cool and spiritual. "Application" in sermons that I heard was a foreign language to me. In the background, I wanted to be in another world, whether an imaginary world or a real world where Game Time never ended. And in high school I just wanted my music and my movies. My desire wasn't for God; it was for fun. I didn't want to be part of any small groups where people would actually hold me accountable for growing in sanctification; I just wanted to hang out with my friends and do the minimum to appease their desires to see me bear fruit. And in college, when I started to listen to internet radio, fun meant listening to mostly disgusting comedy routines for hours on end with the excuse that a good clean routine would come on once in a while. Through headphones, you can deceive a lot of people. "What are you laughing at?" "Oh, nothing." Christ had to die for that "nothing" - and for the lie that it was "nothing". You can live casually until you see sin's gravity. But a blind eye can't even begin to see the infinite severity of even one sin against an infinitely holy God.

There is a huge danger in wanting to bear only a minimum amount of fruit for the Lord. It is quite possible that, in effect, in this desire, someone is really saying, "I'm really bearing thistles, but let me spray-paint them to look as much like figs as I can, in my fleshly power, so that, from a distance, more spiritual people will glance at me and say, 'That guy is doing his job for the Kingdom', and they will want me to be their friend. But, oh, how I fear the scrutiny of those who want to look closely at my heart. They will realize, 'He's saying the right words, but his heart is far from Christ. If he were to leave this world right now, God would look on him as his Judge and sentence him to an eternity of eternities in hell, while this hero of deception has everyone, most of all himself, believing that he would be in heaven.' I must do everything I can to keep people from judging me like that." And all the while, they say loudly to others, "I am a five-point Calvinist." They carry a big Bible in a word-for-word translation. They know how to evaluate preachers: "He is a talented exegete and sesquipedalian, but I do not listen to him because we differ on infra- versus supralapsarianism. I would much rather listen to sermons by [fill in the blank]." They sing worship songs only to affirm, "That's... correct. That's... correct. Hey, that ain't right!" But where is the genuine fruit, the genuine rejection of your own sin (not only other people's), and the genuine affections for the Lord?

You can believe in your head without believing in your heart. The more advanced an unconverted person becomes in theology, the more they might become able to trust their own knowledge and say, "Look at me. I read Edwards. I'm definitely in." But that is not trusting in the finished work of Christ and realizing deeply that He had to die even for the pride of propping up your own religious accomplishments. God alone is capable of doing that in the heart of an unconverted person, who by nature hates Him. The Israelites did not have to speak of their own qualifications to look at the bronze serpent on a pole. They only, in their desperate condition, had to fix their eyes on that frightening creature that looks like the same thing that killed their families and friends, and they would be saved from death. And today, you cannot save yourself from spiritual death by knowing which theologians to quote when. Godmust open your eyes and turn your head to look on Christ in His frightening perfections, frightening because Christ is everything you are not and the Lord is thoroughly offended by even the good things you do in your own flesh. But the Father sent His Son, who laid aside His glory to die a gruesome death for your sins on this earth. The unconverted crowd looked upon Him with ridicule, as if to say, "He is not our King! We were expecting dashing good looks and the end of Roman rule, and instead we got this donkey-riding man from Nazareth. Whatever good ever came from there?" But the poor in spirit know: "In this Savior, who died for me, there really is a certain salvation, 'certain' in the surest sense of that word. And, as Spurgeon said, 'How can I [even] trifle with the evil that killed my best Friend?'" Forget yourself; look on Christ and live. Seek Him while He may be found. Turn away from your sins, to Christ, and believe in this gospel.

I do not write this with anyone in particular in mind. If I saw someone in my life acting like this, I would go to them privately and tell them rather than blogging about it. But maybe God will use this to wake someone up. The Lion is not tame, and His truth is not a toy.

On Laymen's Usefulness to the Kingdom

Recently I tweeted, "Who disheartens me more? People who want me to waste my life or people who think I need a seminary education to not waste it?"

I did not write that or this with the intention of appearing to be someone who makes a career out of criticizing the church; God has taught me a lot over the past year about how I should love the church instead of doing that. I write this instead out of love for the body of Christ and a desire to allow all of its parts to contribute what they can, for the glory of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We can be very good at times at saying to the other parts of the body, "I don't need you."

On one hand, many in the body of Christ are content with wasting their lives and helping others to do the same: working to provide themselves with as many of their material wants as possible, spending their spare time gaming or watching television, ending a Bible study after half an hour so that they can go eat ice cream, ignoring their own and others' spiritual needs for things that are not needs at all.

On the other hand, others tend to be the theological equivalent of an armchair quarterback. They fill up Biblical megachurches that burgeon with great doctrine, where every week they receive a course in systematic from the pulpit but they don't consider themselves or me to be qualified to teach others the truth of Scripture because they have never been to seminary or earned a long list of doctorates.

Here is a question: How useful are you if your head is full of sound doctrine, God has given you the ability to teach it to others, and all you do for the body of Christ is put away chairs in the fellowship hall, if even that? And furthermore, you tear down anyone who has a desire for the "higher gifts" but is not qualified in your view (regardless of Scripture's view) to use them?

All a Christian really needs to be used by God is a willing heart and a teachable spirit. Last night, a guest speaker preached at my church's Saturday night service for youth and young adults. He is college-age and has not been to Bible college or seminary. But our pastor has been discipling him, and he did a great job last night teaching us expositionally from John 17. I know I was blessed and challenged by his message. Yet many people would look down on him and would not have let him preach in their churches because of his age or the fact that his training was informal.

For every Biblical megachurch that has arrived at some lofty level, where the pastor has become a big name in Reformed circles, where thousands of people are able to gather after the service and discuss the finer points of the limited atonement over coffee, countless Biblical, Reformed churches exist where the work is just getting started or has grown slowly.

In my church, the work is growing steadily but not without cost. We began as a Filipino church plant, Reformed Baptist but emphasizing "Filipino" more than "Reformed Baptist". We became a great place for Filipino Christians who were just traveling through or recently settling in our area of the US to meet each other. As you may imagine, in uniting around "Filipino" more than "Reformed Baptist" we had many more non-Reformed Filipinos than Reformed Baptists. A new pastor joined our church last spring and took over our Senior Pastor role last fall. (I am not saying that either of my pastors is better than the other; they are both faithful servants of my Lord, and I love both of these men!) He shifted our church's emphasis to historic Reformed Baptist doctrine and has boldly proclaimed to us a gospel that costs us everything: our old way of life, ambitions, desires, everything; a gospel that makes the world oppose us. Most people do not want to hear that. So many of the old members of our church have left, some to go to churches where they just get an emotional high and hear what they want to hear. Praise God that He has brought many new people to our church, or there would not be many of us left.

On Easter, I did not write a new blog post because my church had a sunrise service. That was our only service for the day. Already awake, several of us decided to attend another service later that day. I decided to drive over an hour to one of the Biblical megachurches and hear about our Lord's resurrection from a well-known pastor. It was one of the most incredible church services I have ever attended. The worship was euphoric, singing songs with deep theological truth, with hands up all over the room! The sermon was on point as well. It really made me look forward to attending a conference later this year with some of the people that I met there. I also got to fellowship with two of my college friends who are members of that church.

God also used that service to, once again, confirm my calling to minister in my local church. Yes, it is good to go to a Biblical megachurch once in a while. I found that very encouraging and refreshing. Yet God has given me a Biblical church in the geographic area where He wants me to live and work during this season of my life. The work of ministry that He has given me to do is within my local church, to teach whenever I have the opportunity and serve as I can in the young adults' ministry, the men's ministry, and in the church as a whole. Starting the work is hard, and sustaining it when it does not grow as fast as we would like or I do not see all of the benefits I want to see from it is harder. And yet this work belongs to God, who alone determines its standards for success and its outcome. Those willing and qualified to be part of it work, knowing that God's Word does not return void and we do this for a God whose glory will never fade away. "Not unto us" can be a dangerous prayer indeed, with discouraging results if we look only to ourselves, but "for every look at self, take ten looks at Christ", and He will give us the strength to keep working.

My calling to travel to the Philippines still remains very much alive. Going to a church where I see many Filipinos allows me to fulfill my calling to the ones that live here, but I really want to go there and serve. But of course, one person (not from my church or Filipino) told me recently that I would basically be useless there because what their young men who want to do ministry really need is a seminary education, not just a layperson willing to show them, as much as possible, what right doctrine is. I'll let God determine that. All I know is there is a need to teach men there what true doctrine is because, although so many people in that country call themselves Christians, many heresies, false gospels, and false prophets have a very strong hold there and many people who think they are saved are on their way to hell because of that. Yet the desk where I sit right now to write this post has several wonderful theological books on it where I am learning much more truth than I am able to live out. Since I do my vocational work in America, I would not be able to stay in the Philippines for very long if I were able to go. But if I, even a sinful wretch as I, could go be an encouragement to those who can stay there and carry on or start that work, that trip would pay off in eternity.

Lord, for the sake of Your glory alone, please put me on that plane. Let me never say in the end that I have wasted my life or this calling.

Adorned

Envision the seraph:
A "burning one", unequaled in creation.
A "singing one" in constant worship celebration.
Yet to be praised has never been his concentration.
He will instead ascribe all glory to the God of every nation.

A perfect being, yet its perfections can't outdo
its God's, so worshiping a seraph is taboo.
Four of their wings hid their faces and feet from view,
Lest they be impure. They fly with the other two.

Do not think that in their presence you can be a passerby.
Isaiah himself cried out, "Undone am I!"
Supernaturally strengthened just so that he would not die?
He had to be when he saw the Lord nigh.

Consider their God:
There is one God in three Persons - with no brothers.
Not white, black, or Latin - this God checks "other".
But don't fit Him in our boxes. He has no mother.
And at His creations, we stare in wonder.

From the setting sun to the rising tide,
From the highest peaks to the lands' divide,
From the Challenger Deep to the deepest sky,
Creation spreads the fame of the Lord on high.

Now face down, I am entranced with the thought
That this God would call me holy like his priceless, sinless Son.
And more than a servant, He has made me one
co-heir with Christ, rejoicing in what He has done.

Examine the bride:
The world calls her a dirty girl in a dirty dress,
Full of sins not confessed and problems to address.
Many do not even call her a damsel in distress,
And concentrate only on her failures to impress.

The law is extensive. Even to focus on ten,
We would still break each commandment given then.
Liars, lusters, rebels - from each infant to each man
Whether living in Cannes, Iran, or Japan.

On that final day, we cannot point to house or lands,
Only to our Scapegoat who fulfilled the law's demands.
We could never walk next to Him along the ocean sands.
Each second, He carried us in His holy, nail-pierced hands.

And we make much of the Bridegroom:
The King of Glory, eternally co-existing with His Father,
Three in one with the Spirit in perfect pleasure. Why bother
To walk terra firma as a mortal man?
How could Judah's Lion on this mortal coil stand?

The Author of the law gave Him as sufficient grace.
This upholder of stars, planets, and interstellar space
Laid aside His glory to take on a fleshly case
And cast off our sins as far as east from west - erased.

He has named us sons and daughters of His own
And His perfect rule will never be overthrown.
Even as we think of sonship, are there tears,
Especially when our misdeeds large appear?
In this world, until we claim the shining Prize,
Realize that our joy comes through mournful eyes.

When You died there were stripes from a whip and thorns
Composed Your crown as You submitted to this storm
Of wrath for sin - our failures to conform.
Yet there, our lengthy process to transform
To future glory will be done - no more lukewarm.
We will see why You, Lord, suffered in this form:
Diamonds shine as coal compared to how Your bride will be adorned.

Each jewel of her necklace shines brighter than dawn.
Pure are her ways now. To her Savior she's drawn.
Joy on her face replaces her shame woebegone.
Once acting like Hester, she walks in like Esther,
Perfectly arrayed, with each scarlet letter gone!

What is it like to always live in the third heaven
with the Prince of Peace and no need for the weapons
of this war to kill sin, since temptation will die
and we will more clearly see the Christ's glorious eyes?

[This was inspired partially by Paul Washer's sessions on The Son's Glory (first session here) and a tweet by John Piper. I am also tweeting now.]

This Entertaining Truth, Part 4: The Sufficiency of "Christian".

There is something else I wanted to discuss now: the sufficiency of "Christian". I could identify myself as a "Reformed Baptist" or "Christian Hedonist" or an "I'm of John Piper". The guys at TeamPyro describe themselves as "Calvidispiebaptogelical". And of what use is that in describing what saves me? It's a cute label and something that people in my school of thought would chuckle at and possibly unite under. There are two problems with that.

First, it is not good for the unity of the church. If a Christian labels themselves as anything other than Christian, it can divide them from other legitimate believers. I am not talking about "Christians" that prayed a prayer and went back to sinning so that grace would abound. I mean others that have turned from their sins, believed in Christ alone for salvation, and have been given a persevering faith in Christ that stands up to trials so that God will find them faithful when they stand before Him at the end of their lives.

Second, you are not saved by a theological framework! Jesus did not die on the cross and say, "The limited atonement is finished! I didn't die for you, Caesar! Haha... gotcha!!" Everyone who is saved, regardless of their background, becomes a Christian when they repent of their sins and believe in the gospel (Mark 1:15). Those are the only essentials, though they carry a much higher cost than most people think.

Strangely enough, most of my close friends are Christians who do not agree with me theologically. Some of them are from my old church, a church that calls itself Baptist but does not preach a gospel of repentance. Yet some people there (including the aforementioned friends) have truly repented from their sins and believed in Christ and remained in that church, more or less, as missionaries to it - teaching what they know is right even though the pastors don't always agree with them. And one of my best friends is a member of a Pentecostal church. He does not personally subscribe to the health-and-wealth gospel, but he goes to that church because that is what he has always done.

See, in most contexts, enjoying fellowship with another believer until I find a disagreement with them, then spending all subsequent time disagreeing with them until we both just say "hmph!" and part ways does not help. It is important to fellowship with those who are like-minded. But if someone really is a believer and is not like-minded, and it really is that important to win them over to my side, I need to win them over with love. And if "love doesn't work", I need to repent of my pragmatism and continue giving them the truth in love anyway.

Here is another thought just in case I have made it seem that theology is not important. Many of the differences across Christian theologies boil down to one question: Does God exist to make me look great, or do I exist to make God look great? Phrased another way, who is at the center - man or Christ? Our answers do a lot to shape our views of Him and of the world around us.

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Tim Conway from Grace Community Church and I'll Be Honest said the following in one of his Q&A sessions. My apologies for not remembering which one:

"There are Calvinists in hell. ... Whatever Bible you have, it ought to be teaching you how to love other Christians more. Whatever doctrine you have - whatever theology you have - it ought to be revealing Christ to you more and more, that you will want to love Him more and more."

"If your doctrine makes it harder for you to get along with - if it makes you more difficult - if it makes you unbearable - if it makes you ungracious - if it makes you unloving, then ... you're making an idol out of that. And I'll say the same thing about Bible translations, about denominations. If your denomination, or being a Baptist, or clinging to a certain Bible translation makes you ugly towards other people, makes you bitter towards other people, you've made an idol out of it."

"Many times, discipline is right in the area of the sin. You know what sin a lot of times He comes after us for? Idolatry. A lot of times, we tend to treasure something in our lives more than Christ. ... He will come to us right at that idol. ... If you are in sin and you can just keep on going at it, beware."