Recent Meditations: What I Have Been Reading and Listening To

A few things have happened in my life recently. Two weekends ago, I finally finished reading Future Grace by John Piper and started reading The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott. Future Grace was an amazing read, and I have now lent it to another young man in my small group. The main point in it that has applied to me this year was that, although thoughts of depression are common in the Christian life, allowing them to stay there and sink into a state of despondency is a sin that I must make war against. Christ made war against despondency as He prayed in the garden of Gethsemane while His disciples slept. Charles Spurgeon, the Prince of Preachers, likewise made war against despondency as depression came up very frequently in his Christian life.

Obeying this exhortation to make war against despondency brought me to conviction about the music that I was listening to. On this blog I have occasionally made much of my collection of gospel rap and worship music, but I also listened to a lot of secular metal, industrial music, and depressing rock music that all contained lyrics that, while not objectionable on the surface, fostered depressed and discontent attitudes in me that allowed me to remain in despair and unbelief in the goodness and faithfulness of God. The day that I finished Future Grace, I deleted over 900 songs from my iPod. (Please note: I did not do this as a legalistic statement against listening to secular music. I am not going to legislate that my fellow Christians must do the same thing or else they are not holy. In fact, I did not delete all of my secular music, only that which caused me to sin. I still have a great deal of mostly instrumental trance music, worldbeat music, and other secular music that does not cause me to sin.)

Some would question my decision to read books like The Exemplary Husband. I am not married and not courting anyone. However, the obligations of Biblical manhood that can apply to single men still apply to me. And it is actually refreshing to me to read a book about marriage that does not rely on worldly wisdom. I first heard of this book because Brother Paul Washer has mentioned it in numerous sermons about the family. And I realize that husbands will find this book convicting in different ways than I will, but it is convicting even to me as I consider whether and how I live too casually with respect to the gravity of God's glory.

Last Sunday, my church also voted on its first deacons. I was chosen along with six others, and several more people were nominated for deacon and elder roles. For now, I am one of the two youngest deacons and the only one who is not married or engaged. The roles of deacons in my church are to serve the church, serve as a point of contact for ministries (as a go-between for our pastor/elders and those in charge of ministries, for accountability), and provide Biblical counseling for families in the church. Please pray that all of us as well as our pastor and elders will serve God and the body of Christ for His glory and not our own, in a way that God will find us faithful to Him and His Word.

My church was also quite blessed to collaborate with several other churches around our region yesterday for a quarterly Olympic Games "in-reach". It was encouraging to see several brothers from other churches for the first time in several months and discuss ministry, studies, and our walk with Christ. One of my friends told me that his brother has gone back overseas to study in Bible college, to prepare for a life of missions in a closed country, with the understanding that he will probably lose his life for the gospel there. I have never met this young man but sense a strong desire to fast and pray for him - not to avoid danger for the gospel but to suffer well for Christ when it comes.

Sometimes, it just helps to reflect on words that others have written, sung, and spoken. These are some lyrics in songs that have done a great deal to edify me recently.

"Man all I ever wanted was to be labeled the greatest,

Cassius Clay on spittin' rhymes while rockin' the lastest.

But that crept into my life in Christ. It was evident

As I debated how I was better than the rest of them. [So guilty here!!]

Works-based righteousness: based my worth on some type of list and

If I keep it or not, perfected every night since this.

Now, I'm looking for approval, and I'm selfish,

So all I want to do is try to outdo you!

Silent when you ask me. Later, I'm bragging like a fool.

Far from His image and couldn't see it. Where is the Zoom?

This is grace in my moment of reproof. That helps me see the truth.

Just how I sound, no AutoTune.

And in this life, the last will be first and the first is last.

And He's a servant to the end. We're certain of that.

That's what I heard: freedom from the curse.

Livin' to a hearse, but the latter doesn't matter when you're in reverse."

- Tedashii, "Reverse".

"I found myself in You,

Believing in Your promises. Nothing else is true.

It's all fleeting, gone any minute.

I stand on Christ, the Solid Rock, until Your work is finished.

You could have came as a conquering King,

who knocked dead His opponents, one, two, three.

But You came as a Babe, so meek,

Lived a perfect life and died for me.

Any response would bring glory to Your name.

Holy is the Most High. We live to spread Your fame.

Yes, You're the King that the prophets spoke about,

that the Father was pleased to crush. You took our sins out!

I'll never know how much it really cost when You stretched out Your arms and took up my cross.

I was blind, but now I see right.

You give sight.

You're the Way, the Truth, the Life.

"Man, I wasn't even looking.

I didn't even know how lost I was.

But now the mystery's revealed.
My chance [?] is what it took Him,

but by the Lord's grace, now I'm bought by blood,

because the mystery's revealed."

- Dillon Chase feat. Tre Marquis, "Mystery Revealed".

"All for me, why? No, we don't deserve Your grace.

We deserve the place after death burning under graves.

That's why we praise, 'cause we've been saved from the flames.

Enslaved by Your ways, it's You I try to imitate.

'Daddy, Daddy' - that's what I call You now.

Entrusted like loving vows, stuffing Your word in my mouth,

Chew it up and breathe it out. We love You and scream it loud.

Lord, crush all of our doubts. I stand in awe of You - wow! ...

"I'm in awe of You. And what's amazing is I haven't seen all of You. ...
There is no English word that can describe Your glory.

Though I'm a mess with filthy rags, You didn't ignore me.

You sought covenant with me despite my story,

In fact, You pursued me like Hawks hunt Corey. [?]

I made so many mistakes,

But You sent Jesus so my sins would be replaced.

There are times where I felt that You should've [taken] my life

Or embarrassed me. But instead, Your love took flight.

In fact, in every hard time You've always came to the rescue.

Right on time, and I was never left to

Do it on my own. That's why I stand in awe,

Because You're the greatest one that I ever saw."

- Colt feat. K-Drama, "In Awe of You".

17 Things To Be As a (Future) Husband.

"Finally, pray less that God would show you who is the right husband or wife and pray more to be the right kind of spouse. Dump your list of seventeen things you need in a husband/wife and make yourself a list of seventeen things you need to be as a wife or husband."

- Kevin DeYoung.

Recently, I reread one of my favorite books, Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung, in its entirety. Having been in a courtship for most of the past year and not knowing which way it will go, now is a good time for me to fill out what I must be. I have also been reading John Piper's Report on His Leave of Absence (http://desiringgod.org/blog/posts/john-pipers-report-on-his-leave-of-absence) and trying to incorporate that into my list.

1. I must be continually abiding in Christ and satisfied in Him. Romantic love is not to be my ultimate source of satisfaction. Christ must be. If I become obsessed with what a woman thinks of me, even if it is my wife, I am actually committing the sin of idolatry before a holy God. Not to mention, it will drive me insane. I know this from my courtship.

2. I must be obedient to the commands of Scripture. This only includes full obedience, because partial or delayed obedience is disobedience. I must be willing to risk rejection by the world and take risks for the sake of the gospel.

3. I must have a good and regular spiritual diet, using the Bible most of all but also doctrinally sound Christian books. Books, I have found, are amazing sources of wisdom. I must read Scripture both systematically and to specific passages, as the Lord leads.

4. I must be constantly aware of my own inadequacies and failures and not be self-righteous. An asawa would do much to show me about my own failings before God and before her and expose my imperfections. Being binata at the moment, no particular person can clue me in to my own failures to the same level that an asawa can.

5. I must be a capable provider who can always have or readily find good work to provide for my asawa and the kids. In providing for them, I must realize that my asawa must have a husband and my children must have a father. Work must never take the top priority in my life.

6. I must be consistently loving and compassionate to my asawa in words, actions, and truth. She will not always like me, and I will not always like her. But I must love her at all times, and she needs to know that. She needs to know that my love, romantically speaking, is only for her and for no one else.

7. I must seek wise counsel from my asawa and from my kuyas and ates in the faith in order to make wise decisions. Although God has called me to biblical headship and will ultimately hold primarily me (not her) responsible for the family that (God willing) He will eventually entrust to me, He has given my asawa a brain too. I am to see her as a helpmeet. And I am to see fellow Christians as people who can help me and who I can help.

8. I must be a consistent student of her language and culture. This includes regular study of Tagalog and being aware and respectful of cultural differences between the US and the Philippines. My goal regarding Tagalog is to eventually make her and me comfortable using either Tagalog or English in the home, so that language is not a barrier. However, I must not see our cultures as the rule in our home. We must give Scripture full authority in our lives and not do things just because our cultures say so if the Bible speaks convincingly to the contrary.

9. I must be disciplined in regards to my body. This means I must have self-control over my eyes and my sexuality. I must also have good exercise habits and a disciplined, healthy diet in order to look physically attractive to my asawa. I should not expect her to make an effort to be beautiful while I let my body go to corpulent, couch-potato waste.

10. I must give entertainment its proper place in life. The average American spends several hours each day watching television. The vast majority of television shows are terrible for me spiritually, and even what is good must have its proper balance. I must determine to not live and die according to how my sports teams are doing.

11. I must choose my words carefully when speaking to her, when speaking to others, and when I am alone. My tongue leads me into so much sin. I often sound uncaring with my words and must make sure that I do not damage others by what I say. If I correct someone, it should be obvious to them that I give them hard words because I love them, not for the sake of being hard. Although known among my friends for doctrinal correctness, I can't be known as critical or exacting. God has forgiven me of much. I must forgive others as He has forgiven me.

12. I must be gracious when people do nice things for me and understanding of their good intentions when they do something kindly that does not ultimately please me. I must repay them for their kindnesses based not grudgingly on a debtor's ethic but based joyfully on the kindness and mercy that God has shown me in redeeming even me.

13. I must meditate frequently on the promises of God and must hope in Him. Ultimately, this includes His redeeming me from the presence of sin. I must make others aware of that redemption - for God's glory and for my joy in that glory.

14. I must worship God as much as possible, with a great deal of passion, faith, and understanding. This includes both public and private worship. He must be my first love.

15. I must be living in community with other believers and seeking godly fellowship. My natural tendency is to withdraw. I am alone when I write. But staying alone all the time is not good for me. I need face time with my friends more than one day a week. And it is important to pray for them and with them. This will permit me to be more caring toward them and seek to please God in this sphere of life.

16. I must make my decisions regarding life with an eye toward my future asawa and future generations. I must be a wise steward of what God has given me, giving regularly to my local church and international missions efforts and avoiding unnecessary purchases and debt. I must consider the long-term effect of decisions related to my career, family life, and ministry, making decisions with my future asawa in mind.

17. I must have a "women and children first" attitude in regards to protecting them. This involves self-sacrifice and willingness to put myself in danger ahead of any woman or child. And this still applies to me even though I don't have an asawa or children right now.

Ah, after writing this, I wish there were, in fact, only 17 things that I had to be!

An Addendum to Godly Fellowship, Part 5: More Meditations on Biblical Womanhood.

“’Mature femininity’ refers not to what sin has made of womanhood or what popular opinion makes of it, but what God willed for it to be at its best.”

- John Piper and Wayne Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

I believe that these posts serve as a good arena for passing on advice without being flirtatious, so please let me go ahead and share some things that I have heard and read regarding godly womanhood. Several young men that I know are chomping at the bit to meet godly young women. Yet many of the young women that we meet, even inside churches, display little if any desire to be like Christ.

I praise God for the young women in my generation and in other generations who do know what it means to be a woman of worth and seek to put down the things of this world and pursue God. Let this be an encouragement to them and an exhortation to all women who may read this.

First, I would like to point you to the lyrics to “Work It Out”, by Shai Linne, available at his blog, Lyrical Theology.

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Eric Mason's two-part message from December 2007, The Wise Woman, is a goldmine for insight into Biblical womanhood. You can find the full sermons at Epiphany Fellowship's website. Since I have not seen them transcribed anywhere, here are some especially memorable quotes from the first message.

“Another thing that young women are learning today is ‘calling’ – small letter – at the expense of ‘Calling’ – big letter. … I believe that women are being taught about the call of God that comes subjectively through feelings, intuitions, and personal dreams – not fueled by big C [Calling]. Everybody’s saying, ‘I feel it in my spirit that the Lord wants me to…’, but never, ‘I’m looking at the Scriptures, and I’m feeling that what I’m feeling in my spirit [isn’t] what the Spirit is giving.

“God’s woman is a woman of rich depth. It says here, ‘An excellent wife, who can find?’ Adam didn’t have to ask that question. ... In Genesis, God brought an excellent woman [Rebekah] to him [Isaac]. She wasn’t a rarity, but because of the Fall, this question has to be asked now. … Sin has so pervaded our lives that there has to be an eternal search committee together to help a man to find a good woman. ….

“The first Eve wanted to create meaning for her life. So what happened was, … when the enemy came to her, and she began to lay out what God had instructed Adam, what Adam had passed on to her, the devil [said], ‘You know, He doesn’t want you to eat because He doesn’t want you to have the knowledge of good and evil. That’s how He’s saying things now? God’s a trip. … He’s a tyrant. I don’t like Him either. And [do] you know what He wants to do? He wants to hold you back. He wants to limit your freedoms. It’s a conspiracy, girl, because He wants to stop you from getting your potential, woman of God. … He’s trying to stop you from getting to the next level.’ … Eve said, ‘Amen, devil; Amen! Hallelujah!’ … The devil always wants you to focus on your restrictions: can women preach in the church? … ‘What about this? What about that?’ … So that when he has you focused on ‘whatever’, your eyes get taken off of Him. The woman of worth is a different type of woman. …

“It [the word for ‘excellent’] could be translated ‘a woman of wealth, who can find her?’. He’s not talking about pearls; He’s not talking about diamonds; He’s not talking about earrings. He’s not talking about being able to shop at Tiffany’s. He’s not talking about being able to shop at Saks Fifth Avenue, and not the outlet. He’s not talking about being able to shop at Neiman Marcus, and not the outlet. … He’s not talking about how many crunches you can do, or how you can get a six-pack like Janet Jackson’s. … He’s talking about a woman who is loaded with worth – internal worth. …

“The woman of worth is so valuable – she’s so spiritually gorgeous – she’s so spiritually weighty that a man is hard pressed to find her. He says, ‘I’m not shallow, baby. I’m not talking about the ditzy girls. I’m not talking about a chick, baby.’ See, there’s a difference between a ‘chick’ and a woman. A ‘chick’ is just somebody in the crowd that flosses her physical physique. Fellas on the block say, ‘Aw man, look at that chick over there. I like that chick.’ But then there’s some women, that when you run across them, their essence demands an upgrade. … There is just something that oozes out of [their souls] that demands that they be approached differently. The question is today, women, is: what do you use as a barometer and as a measuring rod for whether or not you’re worth anything? …

“Because of the Lord, you can respond differently to life. See, the woman of worth is a new brand of a woman. … I hate when people say, ‘Man, that woman is a dying breed.’ That’s not good news. Ladies, the woman of worth can’t be a dying breed. There is a call on your life by God to be a woman of worth. There is a call on your life to be beefy in the faith. There is a call on your life to be a theologian – amen! There is a call on your life for your soul to be rich and dripping with what it means to be a Biblical woman, an excellent woman. Jesus has given us everything we need for righteousness and godliness, and that’s not just for men. …

“It is not because you are good in and of yourself, ladies. … It is because Jesus Christ is in your life. … What does the woman of worth value that makes her valuable? A woman of worth is valuable because she first values Jesus. And how do you know that she values Jesus? She values God’s ordained role for her. Eve in the garden didn’t know that the enemy was switching roles. … He wanted to reverse God’s order, and instead of it being God/man/woman/children/animals, he wanted to switch it for it to be devil, woman, and man. The woman of worth understands that submission does not mean a subtraction of worth, but an emphasis on worth. When you try to live outside of God’s ordained bounds or role, you’re living below your calling. Paul said in 2 Cor. 11:3, ‘For I betroth you to one husband, which is Christ. But I am afraid that, as the devil tempted Eve, you may be drawn away from the simplicity of devotion to Christ.’ … Not only that; she values the Word. …

“Not only does she value her God-ordained role, but she understands that her internal beauty increases her external beauty. There’s nothing worse than seeing a fly sister, and then she comes on the scene saying, ‘ ‘EY! ‘EY! COME HERE! … HA HA. YOU HEARD THAT!’ There’s nothing worse than [a] loud-talkin’, gum-poppin’, cigarette-smokin’, think-she’s-all-that chick. … A lot of guys like the girl that looks ‘a’ight’. She even looks ‘a’ight’, but … she’s the woman that probably nobody paid much attention to. But then in Bible study, she raises her hand and asks a question. And everybody kind of turns around and looks, … and then all the fellas are scheming about who’s going to holler at her first. … And not just that she quotes verses, even though we want verses, because sometimes some of us will throw verses out there as a fog, because some of us may like somebody and we know they like verses. But she memorizes the verses, contemplates them; and she repents of her sin. She weeps before the Lord when she has wronged somebody. She doesn’t wear her emotions on her forehead.

“Ladies, I pray today for you, that the best thing about you is your soul. I’m telling you, I don’t care how much perfume you put on. I don’t care how much lipstick. I don’t care if you use MAC makeup. You know what I’m saying? … We want you to look nice. We don’t want you going, ‘He said I could be like this. 1 Corinthians 5 says…!’ … That does have importance in Proverbs 31, but we wanted to make sure you understood the other stuff first.”

- Eric Mason, “The Wise Woman, Part 1”

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“She [your wife] must love God more than she loves you.”

- Kuya Ariel from my church.

Godly Fellowship: Part Five: Kuyas and Ates, and the Trade of Becoming a Biblical Adult.

“ ^11: I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— ^12: that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.”

- Romans 1:11-12

Now what about the other men?

Older men and married men can pour a lot of knowledge into single men. And since single men have more time to spend reading the Bible and theology books, perhaps the edification can go both ways. (* That is if they are the Apostle Paul's kind of single. I know almost completely beyond a doubt that I do not have the gift of remaining single forever, and I am still somewhat perplexed that the Word of God calls it a "gift". But at the same time, the verse that said single people have more time to serve the Lord is not nonsense. I have said, "Yeah, right", to that passage for many years. But we should treat it as no less inerrant, no less divinely inspired, and no less true than anything else in Scripture. Let us not think for a second that the God who saved us and is perfect in every way would ever tell a lie.)

Voddie Baucham's book What He Must Be is an amazing explanation of biblical manhood and how to prepare ourselves as young men for leading a family Biblically when God, in His timing, entrusts us to fulfill that role in our households.

Pastor Baucham had this to say to fathers:

"Take an interest in young men in your church. Engage them in conversation. Find out who they are, what they like, how they think, and what their hopes and dreams are. I am convinced that there are more eligible young men out there than most of us think. Unfortunately, we are not simply turning over enough rocks to find what we're looking for. We are all searching for the young man who looks like a king while ignoring the shepherd boy who has exactly what God is looking for (1 Samuel 16:1-12)."

This is part of a very well-titled chapter: "Can't Find One?... Build One."

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We as young people would do well to live this out in the other way: by purposefully seeking to spend time with older believers (our Kuyas and Ates, for my readers from the Philippines :-) ). Not all of them are living out Biblical manhood and womanhood, but we can identify those who are and seek them out. Pastor Mason, in a four-part series of sermons called The Wise Man and The Wise Woman, brought up the point that we ought not to trust just anyone’s advice in regards to spiritual maturity or Biblical manhood and womanhood:

“[They are] very careful what women they listen to. They don’t let all women in the body speak into their life. … She’s willing to call into remembrance everything that’s in the Word of God and say, ‘That sounds good, but it’s not Bible.’ In other words, you’ve got to begin … to have a funnel for who you allow to speak into your life, because somebody could be trying to speak the order of God right out of your life – and then you’ll begin to subtract in value. You begin to subtract in value, because you’ve taken order into your own hands.”

- Eric Mason, “The Wise Woman, Part 1”

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“Just because someone is old does not make them wise. Never forget: the fables are the ones 'carried by elderly women'. There are a lot of old fools, who have no business giving counsel in the church because their counsel is based on their experience. I don't need your 'experience', unless it is only given as an illustration to what you're teaching me in the Word. Do not give your opinion; it's worth nothing. Be able to open up your mouth and give the Word. 'Well, I think...' - no, it doesn't matter. What does He say? …

"And just because someone is young does not make them foolish.... [Robert Murray McCheyne] is a boy when he is writing some of this stuff - a boy! And yet I can spend a thousand days in my study and not be able to come up with what he has written in a paragraph!

"Young people, listen to me: You have been taught the lie of adolescence, so that you believe that you're not supposed to become a man or a mature woman until you are in your thirties. There are 12-year-olds that God has used to change the world. Why don't you join the ranks? Lay aside the Xboxes and all the silly things on television; and discipline yourself to godliness, so that God can use you!"

- Paul Washer, “Things Applicable for God’s Servants”

Biblical manhood and womanhood is a trade that we younger Christians must learn – and take even more seriously than we do our own jobs. And not all other Christians that you meet will give you Biblically correct, sound advice. Some will give you false doctrine or thoughts based in psychology or other worldly wisdom. While we need to respect our elders (Leviticus 19:32 and others) and obey them when told as long as it does not force us to disobey God, we need to consider their advice to us in light of Scripture.

Most of the time, people are thought of as “open-minded” or “closed-minded”. “Open-minded” means that they will accept anything they are told; “closed-minded” means that they are set in their ways and beliefs and will not change for any reason. In one of my favorite parts of his book The Bravehearted Gospel, Eric Ludy says that as Christians we need to have what he calls the “canon-mind”, testing everything and holding onto the good (1 Thessalonians 5:21) and using Scripture as the measuring rod to determine what ideas and thoughts to accept or reject. (For an example of this, he tells how early church fathers would determine what books to include in the Bible. It is a fascinating read.)

Reading good Christian books and listening to sermons about this is great. Most of our peers are not doing that, but they should. But it is better to also see this truth lived out. This is one of the best practical benefits that we can gain from church: the community. This extends beyond your own age and your own hobbies. If a fellow Christian who seeks out sound doctrine can speak any of the same languages that you do, you can minister to them; and they, to you. Even if a language barrier does exist between you and them, you can still both learn from each other’s actions.

Whether they serve in full-time ministry or not, every young man in a church body ought to take some lessons from the life of Timothy. And the older men discipling them ought to model Paul by providing words and actions worth emulating. This is how the faith gets passed down: not by assuming that the generation after us knows the gospel and does not need to hear any more about it, but by constantly learning the truths of God and pouring them into future generations. Pray hard that you will leave this kind of legacy on earth after God takes you home:

"These are my last words. This is my last phrase.

These are my last thoughts. These are my last days.

My life's invested in you, just as Jesus did for me.

And through you I live on, so continue on with this legacy.

Your prayer for me - carry out the evidence of this love,

And let the truth you learned in youth that you're convinced of.

Yes, sir; God inspired these words to teach you

So you'll know the truth and it could reach you.

Then it reproves you and it beats you,

Corrects you and straightens you up just where it needs to.

Then it instructs you and disciplines and trains you

In righteousness, so you're equipped to be who God has made you.

And what I gave you is more than my words.

It's my life transferred, since the day we conferred.

So preach the Word, in and out of season. The reason

is Jesus. Believe that I've seen Him. They need Him.

"Now, I've been running this race for some time.

Now I hand it off to you 'cause it's the end of my life.

I'm praying that, oh, wherever you roam,

[you] know you'll never walk alone, oh no.

Keep your faith in the Word of the Lord.

Teaching men to worship Christ is what we live for.

Then give it back like I'm giving to you.

The time is yours. It's yours."

- 116 Clique, "It's Yours (2 Timothy)"