“ 11: I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— 12: that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.”
- Romans 1:11-12
Now what about the other men?
Older men and married men can pour a lot of knowledge into single men. And since single men have more time to spend reading the Bible and theology books, perhaps the edification can go both ways. (* That is if they are the Apostle Paul's kind of single. I know almost completely beyond a doubt that I do not have the gift of remaining single forever, and I am still somewhat perplexed that the Word of God calls it a "gift". But at the same time, the verse that said single people have more time to serve the Lord is not nonsense. I have said, "Yeah, right", to that passage for many years. But we should treat it as no less inerrant, no less divinely inspired, and no less true than anything else in Scripture. Let us not think for a second that the God who saved us and is perfect in every way would ever tell a lie.)
Voddie Baucham's book What He Must Be is an amazing explanation of biblical manhood and how to prepare ourselves as young men for leading a family Biblically when God, in His timing, entrusts us to fulfill that role in our households.
Pastor Baucham had this to say to fathers:
"Take an interest in young men in your church. Engage them in conversation. Find out who they are, what they like, how they think, and what their hopes and dreams are. I am convinced that there are more eligible young men out there than most of us think. Unfortunately, we are not simply turning over enough rocks to find what we're looking for. We are all searching for the young man who looks like a king while ignoring the shepherd boy who has exactly what God is looking for (1 Samuel 16:1-12)."
This is part of a very well-titled chapter: "Can't Find One?... Build One."
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We as young people would do well to live this out in the other way: by purposefully seeking to spend time with older believers (our Kuyas and Ates, for my readers from the Philippines :-) ). Not all of them are living out Biblical manhood and womanhood, but we can identify those who are and seek them out. Pastor Mason, in a four-part series of sermons called The Wise Man and The Wise Woman, brought up the point that we ought not to trust just anyone’s advice in regards to spiritual maturity or Biblical manhood and womanhood:
“[They are] very careful what women they listen to. They don’t let all women in the body speak into their life. … She’s willing to call into remembrance everything that’s in the Word of God and say, ‘That sounds good, but it’s not Bible.’ In other words, you’ve got to begin … to have a funnel for who you allow to speak into your life, because somebody could be trying to speak the order of God right out of your life – and then you’ll begin to subtract in value. You begin to subtract in value, because you’ve taken order into your own hands.”
- Eric Mason, “The Wise Woman, Part 1”
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“Just because someone is old does not make them wise. Never forget: the fables are the ones 'carried by elderly women'. There are a lot of old fools, who have no business giving counsel in the church because their counsel is based on their experience. I don't need your 'experience', unless it is only given as an illustration to what you're teaching me in the Word. Do not give your opinion; it's worth nothing. Be able to open up your mouth and give the Word. 'Well, I think...' - no, it doesn't matter. What does He say? …
"And just because someone is young does not make them foolish.... [Robert Murray McCheyne] is a boy when he is writing some of this stuff - a boy! And yet I can spend a thousand days in my study and not be able to come up with what he has written in a paragraph!
"Young people, listen to me: You have been taught the lie of adolescence, so that you believe that you're not supposed to become a man or a mature woman until you are in your thirties. There are 12-year-olds that God has used to change the world. Why don't you join the ranks? Lay aside the Xboxes and all the silly things on television; and discipline yourself to godliness, so that God can use you!"
- Paul Washer, “Things Applicable for God’s Servants”
Biblical manhood and womanhood is a trade that we younger Christians must learn – and take even more seriously than we do our own jobs. And not all other Christians that you meet will give you Biblically correct, sound advice. Some will give you false doctrine or thoughts based in psychology or other worldly wisdom. While we need to respect our elders (Leviticus 19:32 and others) and obey them when told as long as it does not force us to disobey God, we need to consider their advice to us in light of Scripture.
Most of the time, people are thought of as “open-minded” or “closed-minded”. “Open-minded” means that they will accept anything they are told; “closed-minded” means that they are set in their ways and beliefs and will not change for any reason. In one of my favorite parts of his book The Bravehearted Gospel, Eric Ludy says that as Christians we need to have what he calls the “canon-mind”, testing everything and holding onto the good (1 Thessalonians 5:21) and using Scripture as the measuring rod to determine what ideas and thoughts to accept or reject. (For an example of this, he tells how early church fathers would determine what books to include in the Bible. It is a fascinating read.)
Reading good Christian books and listening to sermons about this is great. Most of our peers are not doing that, but they should. But it is better to also see this truth lived out. This is one of the best practical benefits that we can gain from church: the community. This extends beyond your own age and your own hobbies. If a fellow Christian who seeks out sound doctrine can speak any of the same languages that you do, you can minister to them; and they, to you. Even if a language barrier does exist between you and them, you can still both learn from each other’s actions.
Whether they serve in full-time ministry or not, every young man in a church body ought to take some lessons from the life of Timothy. And the older men discipling them ought to model Paul by providing words and actions worth emulating. This is how the faith gets passed down: not by assuming that the generation after us knows the gospel and does not need to hear any more about it, but by constantly learning the truths of God and pouring them into future generations. Pray hard that you will leave this kind of legacy on earth after God takes you home:
"These are my last words. This is my last phrase.
These are my last thoughts. These are my last days.
My life's invested in you, just as Jesus did for me.
And through you I live on, so continue on with this legacy.
Your prayer for me - carry out the evidence of this love,
And let the truth you learned in youth that you're convinced of.
Yes, sir; God inspired these words to teach you
So you'll know the truth and it could reach you.
Then it reproves you and it beats you,
Corrects you and straightens you up just where it needs to.
Then it instructs you and disciplines and trains you
In righteousness, so you're equipped to be who God has made you.
And what I gave you is more than my words.
It's my life transferred, since the day we conferred.
So preach the Word, in and out of season. The reason
is Jesus. Believe that I've seen Him. They need Him.
"Now, I've been running this race for some time.
Now I hand it off to you 'cause it's the end of my life.
I'm praying that, oh, wherever you roam,
[you] know you'll never walk alone, oh no.
Keep your faith in the Word of the Lord.
Teaching men to worship Christ is what we live for.
Then give it back like I'm giving to you.
The time is yours. It's yours."
- 116 Clique, "It's Yours (2 Timothy)"
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